Hutchshoney

(Yet another post-Sweet Revenge story. Story takes place 6 months after Sweet Revenge.)

   "I'm going down to R & I to see what's taking so long. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

   Starsky looked up from the report he was reading, "No thanks, Hutch, I'm good."

   Starsky watched his partner leave the squad room. When he was sure Hutch had gone, Starsky hurried into Captain Dobey's office, entering without knocking.

   "You busy, Cap'n?" he asked.

   Without looking up from his paperwork, the captain grumbled, "I'm always busy. What is it?"

   Starsky took a square of paper from his shirt pocket, unfolded it and smoothed it out, placing it on Captain Dobey's desk.

   "A doctor's certificate?" Captain Dobey asked, one eyebrow raised, looking up at Starsky.

   "They said they could do it Friday."

   Captain Dobey frowned, picked up the paper and walked over to the filing cabinet. He located Starsky's file, and added the doctor's certificate to the folder. He returned to his desk, made a notation on his desk calendar, and said, " I'll take you off the roster for Friday and you can let me know."

   "Thanks Cap'n. Uh, one other thing. I'd like to keep this between you and me."

   "You mean keep this between you, me and Hutch?"

   "No, I wasn't going to tell Hutch."

   Captain Dobey became agitated, "Starsky, your partner is supposed to know your whereabouts at all times."

   "I understand that, Cap'n, but the 'medical confidentiality' rule applies."

   Captain Dobey shook his head in amazement, "I don't know what's more dangerous -- you reading the rules, or you not reading the rules. Why don't you want Hutch to know? He's your partner, and your best friend?"

   "Hutch has been taking care of me for months, doing my laundry, cooking, taking me to doctor's appointments. He used up all his vacation days and took unpaid leave to look after me. He's just starting to get his life back. Goin' out, dating again. If he finds out I'm going into the hospital, he'll drop everything. You know how he hovers. I also don't think he's ready to see me in a hospital bed again. This is something I want to do alone. You can understand that, can't you, Cap'n?"

   "What are you going to tell him? He'll know something's up when you don't show up for your shift Friday."

   "I'm tellin' him I'm going home for a few days. Will you back me up?"

   "Just for the record, I think this is a bad idea." Captain Dobey sighed, exasperated. "I'm not going to lie for you, but I'm not going to volunteer any information, either."

   Starsky smiled, realizing that the captain would go along with the plan. "Thanks Cap'n." he said as he headed for the door.

   "Tell Hutch I want to see him."

   Starsky shot Captain Dobey a startled look.

   "Well don't look so surprised. I have a case for him to work on. He does work here you know."

   Reassured, Starsky smiled and turned to leave.

   "Starsky?"

   "What Cap'n?"

   "You have to be the oldest person I've ever heard of who's getting his tonsils out."

******

   Starsky scanned the squad room and was relieved to see that Hutch hadn't returned yet. A few minutes later, Hutch appeared carrying a styrofoam cup and a handful of file folders.

   "Here," the blond detective said, handing Starsky the cup.

   "What's this?" Starsky said eyeing the frothy brown liquid suspiciously.

   "Hot chocolate. You said you were getting a cold. A hot drink should help your throat."

   "Thanks Hutch."

   "I would have spiked it," Hutch whispered with a conspiratorial grin, "but you're on duty."

   Starsky laughed, "Speaking of duty, Dobey wants to see you. It's about a new case."

   "Well I hope he has something better for me to do than catching the guy who's been parking in the chief's space," Hutch said, rolling his eyes.

   "Isn't that why you joined the police force -- to make the world a safe place to park your Mercedes?" Starsky asked, eyes twinkling.

   Hutch gently slapped Starsky on the upper arm with the file folders he was holding. "Here, why don't you make yourself useful and go through these," he said with mock irritation.

   Hutch knocked on Captain Dobey's door and went in. "You wanted to see me, Cap'n?"

   Captain Dobey got straight to the point, "Captain Harris needs extra personnel for a narco stakeout he's running. I volunteered you. You get the day shift starting Friday. This is an easy assignment -- surveillance only." Captain Dobey handed Hutch a file. "They think that drugs are being distributed from a warehouse on 97th."

   Hutch looked up, "It says here that the activity seems to increase on Tuesdays."

   "Yes, we think that's the day they ship the drugs in, with the delivery of Mexican art."

   "Then why the stakeout Friday?"

   "We don't know all the players yet. The higher-ups probably keep a low profile Tuesdays, in case anything goes wrong."

   "Captain, since this is an 'easy assignment' as you put it, could Starsky help me out on this? He'd just be sitting in the car -- not much different than sitting in the squad room..."

   "Hutch, you know that Starsky isn't cleared for active duty. Besides, Starsky has Friday off."

   "He does? Why?" he asked, puzzled, because he knew that Starsky had used up his days off during his recovery.

   "You'll have to ask him. You'll be working with Sutton ..."

   "Sutton?" Hutch asked, his voice going up an octave. "Captain," he protested," anyone but Sutton."

   "Maxine Sutton is a perfectly good officer."

   "But Captain, she's a klutz, a screw-up."

   Captain Dobey snorted, "You're hardly in a position to call someone else a klutz. You're not exactly 'grace personified'."

   "Well, at least I never shot my own partner." Hutch retorted.

   "That was an accident, Sims got in her line of fire. This isn't up for debate, it's you and Sutton, Friday, 9 am."

******

   Hutch returned to the squad room, seething.

   "Hey Hutch, what's wrong?" Starsky asked, concerned.

   "What's wrong? I have stakeout duty Friday."

   "What's wrong with that? You and I have spent hundreds of hours on stakeouts."

   "Let me finish, Starsk. My 'partner' is Sutton." He said the word "partner" like it was a disease.

   Starsky tried to stifle a laugh. "You and Max? What did you do to tick off Dobey? Musta been something big." He giggled, "So how is old Sims?"

   Hutch glared at him and replied, "After four weeks, he says he can finally sit down without using a pillow."

   Starsky laughed, "Well don't forget to watch your a..."

   "Starsky!" Hutch cut him off. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" he growled. "I'll be stuck in a car all day with 'Mad' Max Sutton, while you have the day off. Which reminds me, why do you have the day off?"

   It's show time, Starsky thought. "I'm going home for a couple of days."

   "Is it... I mean, is your Mom okay?"

   "Mom's fine, it's just I haven't seen her since, you know, and I thought now would be a good time."

   "But you're only going for a few days. How can you afford that?"

   "Oh, United had a great seat sale on."

   Hutch thought for a second, "So what time do you want me to pick you up?"

   "What?" Starsky said, confused.

   "To take you to the airport."

   "You don't have to do that, Hutch, the flight's really early."

   "I can get up early, no problem. I don't have to be on duty 'til 9."

   "Thanks but I was going to use the long-term parking."

   "You hate that. You complain about all the dust that ends up on your precious Tomato."

   "I'll park in the covered section. It's only for a coupla days, anyway."

   "Well, okay. But if you change your mind..."

   "You'll be the first to know," Starsky grinned.

******

   Starsky pulled into the hospital parking lot at 6:45 Friday morning. After he found a shaded part of the lot to park, he proceeded to the admitting department of the hospital. He was pleased to see there wasn't a line-up. A woman wearing a starched white uniform sat at a typewriter adjacent to the admitting window.

   Starsky walked up and said, "I'm Dave St..."

   The nurse cut him short by raising her hand, palm out in a "stop" gesture. Starsky waited. She returned to her typing. A good five minutes later, she rose from her chair and collected various forms from the cubby holes on the wall behind her desk.

   Without so much as a "hello", she directed, "Fill these out and take them to that window."

   She gestured to a window at the far end of the room with a line-up that would shame the DMV. Starsky sighed and picked up the forms.

   "Could I borrow a pen?" he asked.

   The nurse looked him over like she was assessing a credit risk and reluctantly handed him a cheap pen with an advertisement for "Marv's Plumbing Service" imprinted on it. Starsky took the pen, went to a nearby table and started writing. By the time he got to the front of the line and was taken to a room, it was nearly 9 am. A nurse handed him a skimpy gown and instructed him to get changed and get into bed. He changed, but he didn't feel like lying down. Instead, he began to pace. He walked over to the window, and picked up a magazine that was sitting on the ledge. The cover story was "Could Your Doctor Be Wrong? Medical Mishaps Revealed". He rolled his eyes, and tossed the magazine aside. Feeling very alone, he resumed pacing.

******

   Hutch looked at his watch. 9:15. Sutton, we agreed to meet at 8:30 in the squad room. Where the hell are you? Finally Max rushed in, colliding with Officer Ulmer, who dropped the armload of files he was carrying.

   "Oh, sorry Phil," Max chirped.

   Poor Phil scooped up the files and scurried away before further damage could be inflicted. Max rushed over to the desk, trying to catch her breath.

   "Sorry I'm late, Hutch, I was pulling out of my back yard and I bumped the pole that holds up my neighbor's clothesline. Well, I couldn't very well leave her to pick up all those clothes by herself. Is this the file from Narco?" she asked, reaching over and bumping Hutch's cup of coffee. Hutch yelped as it landed in his lap.

   "Oh Hutch, I'm sorry," Max said, grabbing some tissues from the desk. She attempted to blot the coffee, but Hutch stopped her, seizing the tissues.

   "I'll get it," he said harshly.

   After a trip to the locker room to change his pants, Hutch joined Max in the parking lot. Max's gray Chev Impala was only a couple of years old, but with it's numerous dents and dings, it looked like it had been used in a demolition derby.

   "Would you like to drive?" she asked, holding up the keys.

   Hutch snatched the keys from her hand, offering up a silent prayer of thanks that he had been saved from Max's questionable driving skills. He walked over to the driver's side and got in. The second he sat down, he jumped up again. He felt around the seat and found a toothbrush lying there.

   "Oh, I was wondering where that went." Max said as she took the toothbrush and busied herself with cleaning off the passenger seat so she could sit down.

   Hutch regarded her with disbelief, dodging as she tossed coffee cups, magazines, and makeup containers into the back seat. His patience was wearing thin. Concentrate on getting through this day in one piece. And try not to think of Starsky, who's probably on his second bag of peanuts. Being waited on hand and foot by gorgeous stewardesses. Drinking coffee instead of wearing it.

   Max finally got in and started the checklist. Soon they were on their way to 97th street.

******

   Starsky's day wasn't going much better. The nurse caught him pacing the floor and tucked him into bed. He was starting to go crazy. Maybe not telling Hutch was a bad idea. I sure could use his calming influence.

   Two orderlies appeared. Starsky felt like a condemned man going to his execution.

   One of the men spoke. "Good morning, uh," he consulted his clipboard, "Mr. Chen. We're going to take you down now. That nasty old gal bladder is history." he said with a smile.

   Starsky glared at him, "Do I look like a Mr. Chen to you?" he growled.

   "Uh, no," the man replied, but this is the right room.

   "Right room, wrong guy. I'm Mr. Starsky."

   The other orderly grabbed Starsky's wrist and read the hospital bracelet, "It says here he's Starsky. Must be some mistake."

   "Yeah," Starsky huffed, "That's what I said."

   The two men left without a word of apology.

******

   Hutch was nearly at the end of his rope, and it was only 10 am. He thought that Starsky was talkative. Max wouldn't shut up. She went on and on about her family in Boston, mentioning that she wanted to go see them when she took her vacation, but airfare was too expensive. Hutch secretly wished that she could go Boston, immediately would be perfect.

   Instead of saying what was on his mind, he asked, "Doesn't United have a seat sale on now?"

   "United? They just doubled their prices. No way could I afford them."

   "You and someone else I know couldn't afford them," Hutch mumbled.

   "What?"

   "Oh, nothing," he said.

   Max resumed her monologue. Desperate to escape if only for a few minutes, Hutch asked, "Hey would you like something to drink?"

   "A soda would be great," Max replied.

   Hutch went to a nearby convenience store and bought two cans of 7-Up. At least it will dry clear when she spills it on me. Returning to the car, Max got out and let him back into the driver's seat.

   Hutch opened his 7-Up and asked, "Anything happen?"

   "No, not yet," Max said as she struggled with the pull-tab on her drink. She held the can in her right hand and pulled with her left. When the tab opened, her arm jerked back, striking Hutch in the eye with her elbow.

   "Oh, sorry Hutch."

   Hutch was glad he had a cool drink to use as an ice pack on his soon-to-be black eye.

******

   Starsky looked at the wall clock. 11am. What's taking so long? His nervousness had increased to the level of panic. Afraid to get out of bed and be caught by the nurse again, he pressed the call button.

   A nurse appeared, "Yes, Mr. Starsky?"

   "How long will it be? I've been waiting forever."

   "I'm sorry, Mr. Starsky, but your procedure has been delayed."

   "My what?"

   "Your procedure, your operation."

   Like calling it a 'procedure' makes it any less scary, Starsky thought, bitterly.

   "Why is there a delay?" he asked.

   "There was an accident on the freeway, two people were injured. They get priority treatment over electives. It won't be much longer now." she said, fluffing his pillows, "Try to get some rest." She left the room.

   Rest? Yeah, right. Getting ready to go under the knife and she thinks I'm gonna close my eyes and take a nap? I wish Hutch were here. Maybe I could call him. No! You are not going to call him. You are not going to bother him. Then Starsky started playing "what if?" What if they make a mistake? What if I don't wake up? What if I die on the table? Who would tell Ma? Hutch, of course. Aw, Hutch. I haven't properly thanked him for all he's done for me... Starsky settled into a fitful sleep.

******

   There was a loud disturbance in the hospital corridor. Starsky awoke to a very familiar voice shouting, "Where is he? I want to see my partner right now or I'm going to tear this place apart! I know he's here, his car is in the parking lot!"

   Starsky called out, "In here, Hutch."

   "Starsk?" Hutch said as he hurried into the room. Starsky noticed a handkerchief wrapped around Hutch's left hand. He hadn't seen such a look of fear in Hutch's eyes since the shooting.

   Starsky rushed to explain, "It's my tonsils, Hutch, no big deal."

   A wave of relief flooded over Hutch. The situation wasn't as awful as he had imagined.

   Starsky continued, "The doc says that the shooting depressed my immune system. I kept getting tonsillitis so he said they had to come out. I didn't want you to worry about me, so I didn't tell you. I'm sorry."

   "Starsk," he said gently, "you're having surgery. I want to be there. I want to be there for you." Hutch leaned down and gave Starsky a hug. Starsky hugged him back, relieved that Hutch was not angry.

   "I'm kinda glad that you showed up. I'm getting really nervous. What happened to your hand?" he asked, concerned. "Max didn't shoot you, did she?"

   Hutch looked down at his wrapped hand like he was seeing it for the first time.

   "Oh, this. Well, a truck pulled up in front of the warehouse we were watching, blocking our view. I decided to get a closer look on foot. The traffic was heavy, so I had Max slide out so I could get out her side. When I was getting out, she slammed the car door on my hand."

   "Ouch." Starsky said.

   "Ouch is right. I don't think it's broken, but I might need a stitch or two."

   "Did Max slam your eye in the door too?"

   Hutch laughed, "No that was a well-placed elbow jab."

   Starsky winced.

   A nurse appeared at the door, "Officer Hutchinson, the doctor will see you now."

   Hutch waved her away with his good hand, "Later. I'm going to wait with my partner.

   "You'll lose your place in line," she warned.

   "That's okay," Hutch said as he settled into the chair beside Starsky's bed.

   The nurse shrugged and said, "Suit yourself."

   "Hutch are you sure?" Starsky asked, incredulous, "I mean, have you seen the line-ups in this place?"

   "I can wait," Hutch said, smiling at Starsky.

   Starsky shivered. "I can't believe I'm this nervous. Any five-year-old could handle this better than me."

   "Don't put yourself down, Starsk. You've had a lot of bad memories associated with hospitals. It's easier when you're five years old. But I'll tell you one thing that's the same, no matter how old you are."

   "What's that?" Starsky asked.

   "When you get your tonsils out, you get to eat all the ice cream you want."

   Starsky laughed.

   Hutch smiled at him and said, "Hey, if you want I know this great health food place in the valley. They've got this delicious frozen tofu, flavored with carrot juice and kelp." He ignored the look of horror on Starsky's face and continued, "You'll have to skip the granola topping, though, as that would be too scratchy on your throat..."

   "Tofu?" he said, making a face, "You're kidding me, right?"

   The two orderlies returned. "We're ready to take you down now, Mr. Starsky." They started wheeling his bed out the door.

   "Yes, I'm kidding, Starsky. What flavor of ice cream would you like?"

   "Tiger Tiger, and mint chocolate chip...oh...and peanut butter flavor."

   "Okay," Hutch said shaking his head in amazement. "I'll be here when you wake up."

   "Uh, Hutch?"

   "What?"

   "Um. Don't forget the ice cream."

   Hutch smiled, leaned down and whispered, "I love you too, Starsk."

THE END