From the 'Getting Even Series'.
Comments about this story can be sent to: fjerrye@aol.com

Hutch's Big Scary Fish Story

By

Jerrye

   Starsky certainly wasn't much of a fisherman.  He liked it, sometimes, especially when his partner was having such a great time, catching dinner.  Actually, fishing was probably the only time Starsky nearly relaxed when he was in the woods.  A virgin in the woods he was, and a virgin he would always be. He didn't want to experience nature enough to be otherwise.  Sure was getting hungry though.

   The little rowboat was all that was needed on the lake.  It was pretty and the Dobey cabin was very comfortable.  Starsky liked it because Hutch and he slept in the same room.  Okay, he was very nervous with all the sounds.  Anything more than a cricket gave him the jitters.  This place certainly had a lot more wildlife than crickets.

    "Hm, Hutch, where are those sandwiches?" Starsky asked as he rummaged through the cooler.

    "They're in there.  Maybe if you just sit there they'll jump in your hand," Hutch said a little more than irritated.  

    "I'm looking.  You don't have to be mean."

    "Maybe that's what I thought, when everyone laughed the other night."

    "That wasn't mean.  It was just in, ah, well fun."  Starsky tried to sound convincing.  Hutch wasn't buying that and didn't say anything for awhile.

    "Quit rocking the boat.  If you'll just sit your butt down before you turn the whole damn boat over, I'll get up, climb over there, and get out your precious sandwich."

    "Kay," Starsky said sweetly pulling out a beer, and holding it out for Hutch.

    Hutch handed Starsky the sandwich and started to take the beer when he noticed Starsky's rod and reel moving.  Grabbing it instead of the beer, he looked over the side at the bobber moving up and down rapidly.  "Wow! Must be a whopper!"

    As Hutch began reeling Starsky's fish in, Starsky tried closing the cooler.

    "Yeah," he said as he began watching.  He was still trying to close the cooler, holding the beer can and sandwich.  He had a Twinkie between his teeth, so the sound was a little muffled.

    He stayed like that because Hutch was fighting with the fish and there was no room in the boat to get around him and the cooler.  

    "Wow!"  Hutch yelled again, his vocabulary getting more limited by the second.  

    "Rowl!"  Starsky tried to sound more excited but the sandwich in the mouth made the tongue hard to move.

    "Look at that!"  Hutch yelled as he hauled in a beautiful huge trout.  As he brought the fish around, it slipped off the hook, the same time Starsky somehow managed to pop one of the two cans of beer he now had in his hand.  So when that set of blue eyes looked up, they got a very close view of a large trout just as it slapped into his face.  Starsky dropped cans from his hands, sandwich from his mouth, and flayed his hands at the poor fish.

    "Get it off!" he screeched and continued to wildly flay his arms knocking everything, including Hutch, they came in contact with into the lake.

    "Oh shit!  Hutch, Hutch, you okay."  He put his hand out to help him in.  Dripping.  Muddy, and very scary looking.  How could eyes be that blue?

    "DON`T touch me," Hutch sputtered as he climbed in the boat.

    Starsky said very softly, "I'll row to shore now."

    Hutch sat, arms crossed, and glared.

    They finally managed to unload the boat and Hutch did feel better with dry clothes on.  He was hungry and had planned a real good meal.  Of course he wanted Starsky to enjoy it too, just couldn't offer him any.  Not right now.  Well, really he wasn't all that mad.  He'd played about as many jokes as Starsky.  As many, probably.  And today really wasn't anyone's fault.  Still, he would have to be mad until he could get even.  It was expected and Starsky would probably be nervous 'til he did.  That's the way he was going to rationalize it anyway.

    Starsky gingerly approached as Hutch was cooking up something at the stove.

    "Smells terrific," he said in his most polite voice and best smile.  No response.  "Can I have some Hutch?"

    "You don't even know what it is.  Could be gopher meat."

    "It would still be good if you made it," Starsky whined pure sweetness.  "I trust you completely."

    He only got a grunt for an answer.  

    "I'm so hungry Hutch, buddy."

    "I guess so.  Your sandwich went in the lake, huh.  Maybe you can fish it out.  Might be in my messed up jacket."

    Mumbling under his breath, "Bet he throws the leftovers to the dogs." Starsky walked back to his little bed in the corner.

    Boy, Hutch was mad.  Madder would be a better description.  Things sure weren't working out as Starsky planned.  A nice relaxing, at least for Hutch, weekend by the lake.  No pressures. They'd been working hard on some really nasty cases.  And Hutch had really let Starsky's joking around get to him.  Then the Misty incident.  Wasn't even going to think about that one right now.

    Boy that food smelled good.  Hutch could really cook.  Actually, he could do anything he tried.

    Hutch stopped and went to the door.

    "Where you going?"

    "To throw your share to the dog."

    It took Starsky a minute to remember they didn't have a dog there.  Hutch was taking out trash. So he just sat there, looking like a little boy whose best friend just took his favorite marbles and went home.

    Hutch refused to say another word to him, no matter how charming Starsky was.  He did clatter two bowls of the best stew ever made on the table.  Starsky slid into his chair and ate like the starved dog he had thought the food might have been intended for.  Boy it was good!

    "That's the best food I've ever had," he said between mouthfuls.  No response.  For awhile the only sounds were Starsky's smacking and yummy sounds.

    He tried again,  "Hutch you know no one can boil up trout like you."

    Hutch just rolled his eyes, but didn't look at him.

    "Ah, I mean, come on Hutch, this is vacation.  I want to catch some fish."  That got a look, so Starsky jumped in with both feet, so to speak.  How many vacations do we get?  Look how much we spent on all the equipment, well not that much because we had a lot of it, but it still cost a lot, and we came here instead of some place with women, that's okay, I was just trying to make a point, and I'm just getting a little used to the woods, well the lake part of it anyway, and we don't have much to eat tomorrow, of course anything you cook will be fine..."

    "Anything Starsky, you win, please stop, please.  One more word and I won't be held..."

    "'Kay" Starsky knew he'd won that one.

    "Anything to keep you from stammering and whining."  

    Starsky had the strangest feeling right then.  He actually imagined a light bulb turning on over Hutch's head, like in the cartoons.

    They both really slept well.  Hutch didn't even stir.  Starsky was a little nervous when the creatures of the night started, but he looked at Hutch's hair shining in the low light, he insisted on the bathroom light staying on.  Starsky thought how at ease Hutch was in the woods.  He knew that no amount of anger would ever keep Hutch from protecting him.

    The next morning Hutch stretched and breathed in the damp, fresh air and thought what a nice day.  Cool and cloudy, but fresh and clean too.

    In front of him Starsky was climbing into the boat thinking what a gloomy damp day it was. Probably rain.  Noticing the contented look on Hutch's face, he kept quiet.

    No matter what, today he would not complain.

    The morning was nice.  They both caught a few fish, after Hutch had paddled into an old tree stump partly hanging in the water.

    Hutch was really enjoying this and not a bit mad now.  Couldn't let Starsky know that though.  Still had the 'get even thing' to take care of.  He had a thought on that though.  He hardly felt guilty about it even if Starsky was trying too hard.  Give the man some excitement.

    It wasn't much longer however that Starsky met his patience level.  He was sitting on one of the two wooden seats, parallel to each other.  Hutch on the other, really relaxed now.  Starsky piled his feet, one over the other, on the bench beside Hutch.  Relaxed that way for nearly a minute, then the feet started back and forth movement.

    Blue eyes met and down came the feet.

    Relaxed that way for nearly a minute.  Then feet tap, tap again on the side of the boat.  Blue eyes meet and stop feet.  Quiet for over a whole minute.  Hutch closed his eyes again.  Then movement as Starsky fishes out some change from deep in tight blue jeans.  Rocking the boat and more ways than one.  Then he flips coins in the air, rubs them against each other, flip, catch, flip, catch, flip...quarter in Hutch's hand and all is still and quiet, for nearly three minutes.

    Starsky begins to sing Sitting On the Dock Of the Bay, but is cut off on that one with one good glance from Hutch.

    Starsky gets a beer from the cooler, discovers it is the last one, and thinking this should make amends for anyway he had ever wronged his partner, Starsky took a sip and handed it to Hutch. He checks his line and Hutch's and sits determined to relax and enjoy the rest of the morning. How long can a morning last anyway?

    Hutch smiled and murmured a thank you for the beer.  

    Before Starsky could find something else to do, the wind picks up and begins ripples, rocking the boat nearly like a rocker.  Then a bump, bump, bump.

    Stops and again, bump, bump, something bumping against the side of the boat.

    "I didn't do it!"  Starsky blurted out.  Boy he didn't want credit for more noise.

    "I believe you.  See, well I thought it was probably just a tale.  You know like Big Foot and Loch Ness.  We sure don't believe in them."  He waited a minute for effect, because he knew Starsky believed in them.

    After some time, Starsky nudged.  "Like them?"

    "Well, it's just something I heard around the bait shop.  Didn't want to tell you a bunch of fist tales. You know, I was afraid you wouldn't relax as much."

    "But now..."

    "Well, maybe you have a right to know.  Although I know there's nothing to it.  The only real thing we know happened was that girl's body that showed up a few years back. I came with Vince that time you went for your mom's surgery."

    "I remember, didn't know you came here though."

    Bump, bump.

    Hutch listened to the bumps a minute and took a drink of beer. Continuing, "Anyway, years back, this guy at the bait shop..."

    "Elbert?"  Starsky asked wide-eyed.

    "Ah yeah, Elbert and a friend were fishing here when they were just teenagers.  It was a real warm day, they hadn't been catching much, so the friend..."

    "Elbert"

    "Elbert's friend decided it was just too hot for him, so he wanted to go skinny dipping.  They're weren't cabins here much then.  No one around.   Well, Albert wouldn't.  He told me he had heard since he was a boy never to go swimming in that lake.  Said his mother threatened to beat the tar out of him if he did."  

    Bump, bump.

    "Did he say why?

    "No, his mother wouldn't tell him why...said it might give him nightmares."

    Bump, bump.  Starsky swallowed hard.

    "Anyway, you know how teenagers can be.  This friend stripped and went in."

    Bump, bump.

    "It was just a short time before Elbert said his friend went under and came up making a gurgling noise."  Bump, bump.  "He didn't realize he was in trouble 'til the boy finally got out a scream."

    Bump, bump.

    Starsky is at the very edge of his seat by now, mouth opened, and eyes indigo saucers.

    Bump, bump.

    Albert wasn't about to get out of the boat into that water, The boy had gone under twice and Albert could see he had an ear chewed off."

    Bump, bump.

    Starsky rubbed his ear.  Not making a sound.

    Bump, bump

    "He said he reached over and grabbed what was left of his hand."  Hutch watched as Starsky now rubbed his hand.

    "He finally got him into the boat and said the boy was chewed all over.  Some fingers and toes missing, ah, ah..." He was interrupted by Starsky's startled jumping as his fishing line bounces popping the rod against the boat. He then just sits and stares at it.

    "Well, " Hutch continued, "let`s just say he had trouble writing, walking, hearing, and…"  Hutch leaves an uneasy pause, "he never married."  

    Starsky makes a slight protective gesture of his ears and other not missing parts.

    Bump, bump.

    "Hey Starsk, did this upset you buddy?  Look, just pull in your line and we'll go back.  Get some beer."

    "Kay, not scared.  Want some beer."  Starsky begins tugging at the line.

    Still fooling with the line, the boat is rocking pretty good now, so a very scared Starsky carefully reaches over to try to get the line in.  Hutch sips the beer.

    Still trying to get in the line which seems to be tugging again, Starsky reaches over the side of the boat, of course with no intentions of getting near the water.   

    At the top of his voice, as he stands up, Hutch screams, "STARSKY, get your hand in!"

    Starsky of course panics, trying to pull in his hand and turn in two directions, the boat rocking, and over he goes.  "Help, oh my God, Hutch, help."

    Hutch is having a difficult time hearing him over all the laughter.  In near hysterics, rolling on the seat, he stammers out, "You better stand up, you might drown."

    Starsky stands untangles his shoe from the limb that has been bumping into the boat, and watches Hutch now calmly sipping Starsky's beer.

    Starsky climbed in the boat, dumped water from his shoes.  He did not drown, he had that saved for someone else.  He looked at Hutch who wouldn't look directly into those burning orbs, and gave a new meaning to `if looks could kill'.  Really, as he calmed down, he was glad it was over. Even now.   Well, not exactly.

    "Give me back my beer."

    Hutch gave his own 300-watt smile.  He didn't give back the beer.

THE END