Note: Sweet Revenge Missing Scene.
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God's Grace

By

Karen B

   For awhile there was nothing. Not light, not sound, not touch, not pain. Even the darkness held the black void of endlessness. He was lost somewhere. Some strange dark place where hope and friends and love where not in sight. He was terrified and alone The black onyx held him prisoner. Chained from the things he needed most. The underworld pulled him down deeper into its cavern but he fought to escape. He grasped at streams of silver as he pulled himself out of the void. On the edge of awareness now all he could feel were the heavy paperweights that were his eyes. They shifted back and forth under his closed lids. He tried to open them, but they felt like someone had sewn them shut. The solitude Starsky felt frightened him. Where was he? Where was Hutch? And why couldn't he open his eyes? Better yet why was the rest of him unable to feel a thing except for the two round coins that moved back and forth under weighted lids? He slipped in and out of his awareness like the sun slips in and out of the clouds.

   Hutch sat serene next to his lifeless partner. How he survived this long a miracle in itself. Three slugs to the chest and out his back had ripped his partner to shreds. The doctors near piecing him back together like a piece of blown glass that had shattered into a million shards after falling off its shelf. Pieces missing, pieces glued in the wrong way or wrong place just to fill in the cracks. Hutch sat in the bedside chair his head leaning back on it and starring to the speckled tile ceiling. This was not happening not to him, not to Starsky -- how could this have happened? Right there in what should have been the safest place in the city the police station garage. Sorrow filled him from head to toe and back again. The better part of it settled in his stomach and lay there like a cement block, swirling around and hitting the sides of his gut like ice cubes in a blender. His friend, his partner, his brother, his faith, his hope, his life lying on the white sheeted bed, under a battery of gadgets fighting to remain on this earth. If he was even able to fight. Hutch lay his hand shielding his eyes from the white blur he had been staring at for hours or was it days? "Buddy you fight, don't you do this to me." His voice shattered like the broken glass of the Torino's windows. He slowly lowered his head, hand still over his eyes. Hutch desperately tried to break free from the dark passage he found himself in. Anguish, despair, frustration, and fear. The toxins threatening to bubble out of his stomach and make their way upward and out his mouth. He now rubbed vigorously at his carnation blue eyes he could feel every fracture in his heart, sure as the bullets had flew through him. Hutch began to shut down his pain and sorrow over flowing like the Hoover damn had just crumbled. He wanted to scream, to hit something, to break something to release the pain that was tearing apart his heart. But there was nothing, nothing that would, or could ease his turmoil. "Buddy I'm not helpin' ya here much." He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. Then shoving his pain away, he turned his attentions back to his partner lowering his hand from worn, sad eyes.

   He slowly let his gaze lower back down to his best friend. Staring at the ghostly face released the flood that he so desperately was trying to hold back. The river of sadness slowed as he noticed movement under the closed lids. "Starsk?" Starsky's eyes still bounced around under closed lids uncontrolled. "Starsky?" Hutch was in a state of shock. He leaned down close to his friends face watching. Starsky's lashes fluttered, and the tiniest slit appeared. Hutch could just make out the amethyst blue eyes underneath.

   A flash of light like a rocket blasting off hit his sights. It hurt, but he kept his eyes open. He felt a warmth on either side of his face gently turning his head. A head, I have a head, he thought. A pounding began behind his eyes, and his brows furrowed.

   Hutch had placed both hands softly on either side of Starsky's face and turned his head toward him. He held the wobbly head that threatened to fall off. "Starsk hey, can ya open your eyes more pal? Partner come on let me know you’re in there." Hutch stroked both cheeks with his fingers as he held his partner’s head that was as weak as a newborn baby's.

   It sounded so far away like he was in a cave. The words echoed in his ears. Ears, I have ears. It caused his head to pound louder. The words were not clear to him, but the voice -- it was Hutch. He could be on Jupiter and hear Hutch call to him from earth. He widened the slits, felt like he was ripping the strings that kept his lids glued shut. The image that sprawled before him swam and danced the whiteness, almost painful. He however made out the golden hair of his partner. He pried apart his dry cracked lips and attempted to move them. They felt prickly and tingled as he tried to form a word. His throat felt like he had swallowed an SOS pad and the faintness of the word that came out didn't sound familiar at all. The pain of the steel wool rubbing his throat raw caused his arms and shoulders to flinch. Arms, I have arms.

   Hutch lay his partner’s head slowly back to the softness of the pillow, and reached for a hand instead holding it up to his face. Although the word was slurred with pain, Hutch knew Starsky had recognized him and called his name. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard in his thirty-one years of life. "Yeah buddy, it's me. I thought I lost ya, Starsk." Hutch choked out the words. "Your not alone partner I'm here, I'm stay in here with you, not about to leave." Hutch squeezed the twitching hand tight, trying to calm himself and his friend.

   Starsky's legs also twitched they felt like he had fallen into an anthill and they were crawling all over him. The ants made their way up to his abdomen and chest, and they must have been hungry cause they began to nibble at him. The nibbling turned to gnawing, and the gnawing turned to chomping. His chest and abdomen a flame with the pain. The amethyst blue eyes that were barely open to begin with, rolled to the back of his head, and pain gurgled from his steel wool throat. He could still hear his partner’s words and forced himself to keep from falling back into the void he had just kicked and clawed his way out of.

   Hutch watched in horror as his partner’s pain woke from deep within. His eyes had rolled to the back of his head and the gurgle noise frightened Hutch, and he pressed the call button. "Don't Starsk, don't, you just keep holdin' on. You hear me, Gordo? You got this far partner you're not gonna quit now." Hutch once again lifted his friend’s head to rest against his chest.

   Starsky protested the movement with a raspy breath. "Hutch? You here with me?" His eyes still rolled back and forth trying to stay away from the void that lingered near by like a vulture.

   "Partner, I'm here it's okay, feel my hand buddy? I'm not leaving you." Hutch cringed at his partners suffering. He knew Starsky was in for the fight of his life.

   "I think I feel it Hutch." Starsky gave a small squeeze to Hutch's hand.

   "You got it buddy. Me and you, partner. It’s just me and you. You hold on to me long as you have to. Don't you let go Starsky."

   Starsky just nodded his head that he understood. The wretched pain flew to every part of his body. He held tight as he could to his partner’s hand. His body shook and his breath was a low shallow wheeze.

   The nurse had come in to check Starsky's vitals and assorted ensemble that he was hooked up to. Hutch felt his body shaking with fear as she did so. She smiled at Hutch and injected the IV with something, assuring Hutch as she left, it would help with the pain.

    Starsky began to wish he were back in the void where there was nothing. But he resigned on that thought, as for there, he didn't have the love and comfort of his partner. He would endure the pain and keep himself far away from the black void he was in. His eyes rolled back into place and he searched for his life's support.

   "Hutch stay." It was all he could manage at this point. Hutch's face appeared directly in front of him with a smile. "You got it buddy. Just sleep now Starsk, I'll be right here I promise. I'll be right here." Hutch laid his hand against his partner’s clammy skin and both looked to each other for what felt like eternity 'til Starsky's fear settled and exhaustion began to bring him down to sleep. Starsky still looked up to Hutch's eyes 'til the heaviness brought them slowly closed. Hutch smiled at his friend as the last of the amethyst blue disappeared into a peaceful sleep. Surrounded with memories and love by God's grace the black void was gone.

THE END