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Kathy Kellenberger

   She floated in the marina, rocking back and forth and side to side slowly, peacefully... CARISMA was patiently awaiting her next guests.

   The two detectives were all too ready for the three-week vacation that was just ahead of them. They had been on the force long enough now to get an additional five days off... finally they thought.

   They had many long discussions about what they wanted to do and where they wanted to go. They both felt a strong need to get out of LA.

   Hutch insisted on some "Peace & Quiet."

    Starsky, being the loving, devious, big kid of the pair said, "Okay, Hutch, you be Peace and I'll be Quiet".

    Hutch tilted his head and gave Starsky a "you're silly" look before both broke into laughter.

   "But no mountains!" Starsky insisted.

   Of course Hutch, the nature boy he is, wanted to head for the mountains. He tried every trick in the book to persuade his partner, along with himself, to become "mountain men" for three weeks.

   Starsky attempted to persuade Hutch: "How about the beach? I know this great place up the coast called..." He was cut off mid sentence.

   "Sounds nice, Starsk, but I think we need more action."

   "You're kidding me, right, Hutch? You really think the mountains hold a lot of action?" the darker of the two began to rib his partner. "Well, I guess we could see just how fast we can really run as a grizzly eyes us up for lunch...or maybe we could play fetch with one of those precious wolves... I saw a movie the other night where a giant mosquito started eating people and..." Cut off mid-sentence again.

   "Okay, okay, okay...I get your point...even though it's dull. We don't have to go to the mountains, but Starsk...not the beach either? We need to do something totally different this vacation."

   Hutch had an idea. He knew it would take some bribing with his partner, but was sure he could talk him into it.

   "Starsky, I have an idea. Hear me out before you make your decision. My sister Karen and her husband have a beautiful boat, just docked and waiting for us. I know they are not gonna be using it this month. I'm sure Karen and Steve wouldn't mind at all. They even offered for us to use it anytime. Let's take 'em up on the offer Starsk, huh? Think of all the money we could save and it would be something different." Hutch gave a "please" look at Starsky. "We could head out to the San Clemente island. We could do that for half of our vacation and do whatever with the rest."

   Starsky could not say no to his partner's puppy dog baby blues. Even though he feared getting seasick...it was certainly more appealing than the mountains. Okay, he thought, at least he would be with Hutch. He wondered if the monopoly pieces would stay in place on a rocking boat.

   The decision was final, as they were both able to agree.

~~~

   Karen and Steve were happy to let the duo borrow the boat. What they called a boat was actually a 45-ft. Morgan Sloop. In other words…a semi-large yacht. In other words...a darn nice boat. Her name was CARISMA.

   Karen and Steve were not the type to flaunt their wealth, but with Steve being a doctor, they were able to afford some of the finer things in life. Hutch loved his sister dearly, but did not want that "glorious, fine dining" lifestyle that she and her husband shared. He never did. But he was more than happy to borrow the boat.

   They drove down to San Diego, made sure they had enough supplies and that the boat was in good condition for the week and a half voyage they had planned. They boarded their own necessities, double checked the boat's fuel supply and began their journey out of the marina. They were leaving from Coronado and planned to make a slow, relaxing journey toward the small island of San Clemente. The day was beautiful and warm with a breeze that felt so good moving through their hair.

   "This is healthy," said Hutch excitedly.

   They planned to relax, fish, and get the best tan ever. Hutch brought all the fixings for his shakes and Starsky brought all the fixings for his burritos and other junk food that he knew would not be included in his partner's stash. Both remembered to bring the beer and a few bottles of wine. They were set and they were free, leaving the cares of the world behind. Hutch got even more excited as they passed through the inlet into the ocean. Starsky was happy, too, but inwardly hoped he would not get seasick. He was leery, not being able to shake a feeling that somehow he'd rather not be doing this... He quickly subdued the thought.

   The ocean was calm and a clear blue. "This is it Starsk! We made it. We're on our way."

   "Okay, Captain." said Starsky with a grin of freedom.

   The journey began.

~~~

   Starsky thought he was free and clear till after lunch when the waves got higher and the boat rocked more. "Hutch...take me back. I'm sick," said Starsky as he heaved over the side of the boat. They were already fifteen miles off shore.

   "Starsky, if you wouldn't have eaten all that junk for lunch you might have avoided this."

   "Hutch... I..." More heaving. "This was supposed to be fun, Hut..." More heaving.

   At first Hutch was a bit irritated, blaming Starsky's seasickness on lunch, but soon he actually felt bad for his partner who could not stop heaving and vomiting.

   "Hutch...shoot me, okay?" Starsky pleaded, one hand on the edge of the boat, the other clutching his throbbing head. "Throw me overboard...put me out of my misery..." Starsky said with as much strength as he could muster between vomiting, heaving, and the pounding in his head.

   Rubbing his partner's back, Hutch replied, "Take it easy, Starsk. You're just not use to this yet."

   "You mean it gets better?" Starsky said in a joking, out-of-breath tone.

   Hutch looked for the first aid kit and found some Dramamine. He brought it to Starsky along with a Coke and gave it to his patient.

   Starsky was able to get the pills down, but was afraid to let go of his grip on the side of the boat.

   "Come on, Starsk, why don't you lie down awhile, give the pills a chance to work?" Hutch helped his partner into the cabin of the boat and tucked him in. At Starsky's request, Hutch sat with him until he fell asleep.

   Hutch gave thought to turning the boat around. He didn't know for sure if his skipper would find peace with the sea. He figured he would enjoy the water and afternoon sun while he could.

   Three hours later Starsky woke to the sound of Hutch playing his guitar. He made his way to the deck and sat down beside his partner. "Hey, that's pretty good...new song?"

   "Just playing around. Hey, Starsk, you feelin' any better?"

   "Yeah, I'm ok...nothing left to throw up." Starsky grinned.

   "If you want to go back, Starsk, it's ok with me."

   Starsky saw the disappointment in Hutch's eyes, as hard as he tried to hide it.

   "I don't want ya being sick, Starsk. We can do something else."

   "I'm really feeling better, Hutch. I don't want to go back," Starsky said, putting a reassuring hand on his partner's shoulder. "I figured that might happen, it has before, but goes away when I get used to it. I'm really okay, thanks for the help, buddy. I'm glad Karen thought to stock some Dramamine. How about some dinner, Hutch? Real food this time, huh? I never want to see a burrito again in my life."

   Hutch laughed. "I heard that before, Starsky. Come on, let's find something to eat."

   They shared a couple of steaks and baked potatoes and opened a bottle of wine, which they finished off on the deck...Hutch playing his guitar as both watched the setting sun.

~~~

   The next few days were much better than their rocky start. Starsky's stomach adjusted to the Pacific and both were feeling the effects of finally being able to relax. The world's tensions eased more with each day as they fished and worked on their tan. Hutch was even letting Starsky drive the boat. Starsky then fantasized about having his own boat that he would paint bright red with a white stripe.

   Starsky grew to love the voyage more each day. He and his partner joked around, laughed, played Monopoly and cards and he even sang along as Hutch strummed on his strings. Their skin became dark, complimenting the four blue eyes and Hutch's hair turned a golden, almost white color. Starsky got so excited when he caught and was able to reel in the biggest fish of the day.

   Hutch realized that his partner really needed this type of entertainment, understanding that he never had these opportunities as a kid.

   Starsky was happy seeing his partner so content and Hutch was happy observing his partner's inner child being able to surface.

   With two days left at sea, they decided to go scuba diving. It was an awesome feeling as they were once again amazed at the beauty of the ocean and the freedom they felt. After Carisma had been anchored, they geared up and took the plunge. About an hour into their endeavor, the sky became dark and the waters became angry. They decided it best to end the day's diving expedition and to batten down the hatches for the storm that would soon visit.

   Hutch was the first to get back onto the boat. He then waited for Starsky to join him. Starsky was climbing up the ladder onto the boat when he was violently pulled back into the fierce waters. Hutch felt a dread in his mind and heart as he saw a large shark attacking his partner. Blood filled the surrounding waters. Starsky would surface a couple times only to be taken down again as he was shaken violently by the shark. Hutch was beginning to panic when his partner did not surface for over two minutes. He grabbed his gun and at first sight of the shark, shot him four times, being very careful to avoid his friend. The shark let go of Starsky and sank. Terror filled Hutch as he jumped into the water to recover his partner.

   The storm came on fast and furious. Thunder and lightening came at them with fury. A bolt of lightening struck the console of the boat as Hutch held on tightly to his unresponsive partner. Sparks flew from the console area, but it did not start on fire. Hutch quickly observed his partner for damages.

   "Starsky! Come on, Starsky, open your eyes for me." Hutch felt for a pulse. One was there, but it was weak and fading. He realized that his partner was not breathing. He acted immediately, before he had a chance to panic... He had to save his friend! He attempted to resuscitate Starsky by giving "mouth-to-mouth." This continued for at least three minutes. The panic in Hutch was now rising. Suddenly Starsky coughed and the water that was in his lungs started to emerge. Hutch turned Starsky on his side that was not bleeding, so he wouldn't choke on the water.

   Hutch had to work fast. The boat was rocking furiously and the storm was having no mercy. He picked Starsky up in both of his arms and carried him toward the cabin. He almost fell several times as the boat rocked and the rain pelted down on them unmercifully. He finally made it to the cabin and laid Starsky on the small bed. He had to work quickly. Blood was now spreading out of the wet suit faster than Hutch was comfortable with.

   Starsky began to moan weakly. "It hurts... Hutch, please help me... it hurts... Get it away from me!"

   "Take it easy, Starsk, I'm right here. I'm gonna take care of you, but you gotta relax for me, buddy." Hutch did not know the seriousness of the wounds that the shark had inflicted on his partner or how he was going to help him.

   Hutch worked rapidly to get the wet suit off of Starsky. What he found terrified and sickened him. He crawled over to the waste basket and threw up. I gotta help him...there is no time for this, he thought.

   Starsky's left flank area looked like raw meat just after butchering. Hutch assessed the badly torn up body that only twenty minutes ago was enjoying pointing out schools of fish and reefs of coral. There was a large rough laceration on Starsky's left mid to lower back and a couple of smaller ones on his left to mid lower stomach and groin area. Hutch knew he had to stop the bleeding. Starsky was hemorrhaging to death. Hutch thought quickly... this was certainly no hospital and the supplies were very limited.

   "Hey, buddy." Hutch spoke reassuringly to his partner. "I'm gonna have to stitch this wound up Starsk. We gotta stop the bleeding." Starsky just moaned and held tight to the hand that had his. He was pale and his heart was racing. Hutch knew his partner was going into shock.

   "Buddy...stay with me, okay? Don't go anywhere on me... try to focus, Starsk." Hutch winced, feeling desperate.

   Hutch came back with the only "make shift" supplies he could find to help his friend, and grabbed the first aid kit. He took a pair of pliers from the toolbox and grabbed some fishing line, a hook, and a pocketknife.

   Hutch turned Starsky onto his stomach so he could work on Starsky's badly wounded back. "Starsk, this is gonna hurt like hell, but it has to be done buddy. I want you to hold onto the top of the bed and don't fight me ok?"

   "Okay, Hutch... I'll try...just make it better." Starsky was trembling with pain and continued to become weaker.

   "I want ya to tell me a story, Starsk. Tell me how you and the Tomato found each other. I want you to focus on something other than what I'll be doing...okay, pal?" Hutch put his hand on his partner's cheek, then squeezed the back of his neck reassuringly.

   Hutch cleaned the torn area as well as he could with antiseptic from the first aid kit. Starsky's breathing became heavier and more rapid as he tried to get words out about where he found his car. Hutch prepared the fish line and hook, cleaned them with the antiseptic and started to close the gaping wound.

   "Hold on buddy. Its gonna hurt... just hold on and keep talking to me."

   Hutch began to put the stitches in place. He felt so bad for Starsky as there was nothing at all to numb the area or the pain. "I'm so sorry, buddy." Starsky screamed as the fishhook was placed into the skin on his back. "Oh God, Starsky, I'm sorry, but I don't want you bleeding to death, babe." Starsky tried to fight his partner. He tried to push Hutch away with his hands and attempted to get up.

   "Oh God, Starsk...you need to help me." Hutch was frantic. He knew that if he were to try and save his friend's life, he would have to restrain him until the stitches were in. He quickly ripped a sheet and with it he tied his partner's hands to the top of the bed. Starsky was screaming violently and beginning to lose his voice. Hutch sat on the bed, straddling Starsky's legs in an attempt to further immobilize his partner. Starsky screamed with each stitch until he became too weak. The screaming turned into sobs and begging for Hutch to "stop...please stop..."

   Hutch felt as though his heart would break as his partner gave up trying to fight him and just sobbed continuously, sounding defeated. He finally finished his work on the open wound and applied more antiseptic and covered it with a dressing.

   "Hutch," Starsky cried, "make the pain go away...hold me...please, Hutch."

   "Hey, Starsk, it's all done. I'm so sorry, pal, I didn't mean to hurt you. God, it breaks my heart to know that I hurt you...but there was no other way, Starsky." Hutch grabbed a cool cloth and dabbed at Starsky's face and the back of his neck.

   When Starsky settled a bit he said, "It's okay, Hutch, I'm sorry for being such a big baby." He cried some more. "It just hurts so bad. I know you had to do it... Thanks, buddy," Starsky said, grimacing at the pain.

   "Can you untie me now?" Starsky asked, trying to stop crying.

   "Oh God, Starsk, I'm sorry," Hutch replied as he took the restraints off of his partner. He rubbed his wrists, then held both hands in his own.

   "Will you stop saying you're sorry, Hutch? You didn't bite me."

   "Buddy, we got some work to do. The shark tore your back up pretty good. You're gonna be okay, but ya gotta let me help you. We're gonna get through this partner."

   Hutch applied additional bandages to the stitched area, then turned Starsky onto his back, allowing the area to rest on some ice to get the swelling down and to further stop the bleeding. He sat right beside his partner and talked to him softly until he fell asleep. Thank God, thought Hutch, "You just sleep, babe, get away from the pain for a while." He watched Starsky sleep for a bit more as he got out of his own wet suit, stained with blood from his partner, and into some jeans and a T-shirt, then headed for the radio.

   "Dammit!" Hutch said, as the radio was dead. He tried to start the boat, but not to his surprise the engine would not turn over. The lightening had done a very good job of halting their communication with the rest of the world and made sure they were going nowhere.

   "Come on, Carisma! START...come on!" Carisma did not respond to Hutch's commands. Hutch had to think of their next move quickly...he knew his partner needed a hospital as soon as possible. He stood, hands both on the console and hung his head. He kicked at the console area, yelled at it some more, then started to cry, out of frustration of being stuck, feeling helpless to make his partner better and out of fear...for his badly injured friend and his life.

   Hutch found the flares and fired two of them into the air, praying someone would see them and come to their rescue...Starsky's rescue. He tried the radio again without success. The storm continued as Carisma was thrown around fiercely. They were in the middle of nowhere, nothing in sight, no land, no other boats, no radio... Hutch began to bargain with God.

   "Hutch!"

   Hutch heard Starsky calling for him and was at his side immediately. He knew his partner was scared, in severe pain, partially in shock, and very weak.

   "Hey, buddy. I'm right here..." Hutch dabbed at Starsky's face with the cool cloth again and began to rub his upper back for comfort. Starsky groped for his partner's hand and held on tightly.

   Hutch did not want to scare his partner anymore than he already was, but told him that Carisma was a bit wounded, too, and that they had no radio or power.

   Starsky just gave a weak "um-hum," eyes half-closed, his breathing short and shallow with the expression of pain covering his face. "Hutch, don't leave me, okay?"

   "It's okay, Starsk, try to relax... I'm not going anywhere... I'd have a really long swim if I tried to." Hutch tried to get a smile out of his skipper.

   Hutch noted his partner to have become more dehydrated and knew that he needed fluids. He checked the bandaged area then assisted Starsky to drink some water, as much as he could get into him.

   Starsky tried, he really did, but it was so hard for him. He felt sick and had trouble even swallowing it. Hutch continued to sit on the bed next to Starsky and got as much water into him as he could, stressing how important it was that he try to keep it down.

   Starsky's efforts were unsuccessful as his grip around his partner's leg tightened. "I'm gonna be sick, Hutch!"

   Hutch quickly grabbed a bowl from the kitchen supplies and prayed as his partner wretched into the bowl and trembled even more. "Try to relax, Starsk. Come on, breath for me." He continued to rub Starsky's upper back as he held the bowl for his friend. He felt so helpless as he felt his partner's torment.

   Hutch tried to fix the radio again with no success. The storm was moving away from them as fast as it came on, and the afternoon sun began to peek through the clouds. Hutch was rinsing his partner's blood off the deck when he heard a thud.

        Hutch immediately returned to his partner where he found him on the floor trying to crawl, on his stomach, to the short ladder that led to the deck. Starsky only made it halfway before totally collapsing onto the floor, not realizing his weak state. Hutch noted that the bleeding had started again to come through the dressing he'd applied to Starsky's back.

   "Hutch... Hutch... I didn't hear you and I got scared. I don't want to be alone." What Starsky was really saying was that he didn't want to die alone.

   Hutch grabbed the mattress and placed it on the floor where he gently eased Starsky in an attempt to make him more comfortable. This would also prevent him from falling out of bed again and would allow for his patient to be closer to him.

   He got Starsky onto the mattress and redressed his wound, applying pressure with some towels and a piece of sheet that he tied around Starsky's lower torso.

   Starsky wasn't settled long when he told Hutch that he had to go to the bathroom. He can't get up, Hutch thought. "Hold on, buddy, let me get something... be right back." Hutch quickly came back with a bucket in hand. "Starsk, you're gonna have to use this, babe. I don't want you getting up and you're too weak."

   Starsky tried to hold the bucket and put it to use on his own as his partner saw how depleted he was and that he was not able to accomplish this task on his own.

   "Here, Starsky, let me help you."

   "I don't want you watchin', Hutch."

   "I'll just hold the bucket for you, Starsk, I won't look."

   Hutch gently turned Starsky onto his side and held the bucket for him. Starsky grabbed onto his stomach and cried that it hurt and burned really bad while he was trying to go.

   "Easy, Starsk, take it easy." Hutch was doing the best he could to keep his partner calm, although he too gasped when he did look and saw the bucket being filled with blood.

   Starsky, now sobbing with pain and sweating profusely, saw this too. He looked at the bucket, then looked at Hutch with scared, pleading eyes and a quivering lip. No words were needed. Starsky let one hand go of his stomach and reached for Hutch with the other.

   "I'm sorry, Hutch", Starsky said as tears continued to run down his face, too scared to say anything more. They both knew that if help didn't arrive soon, it would be too late.

   "Help isn't comin', is it, Hutch? I'm so sorry. Hutch, you need to go on, okay? Promise me," Starsky said, attempting not to cry. "And don't feel bad about this, it wasn't your fault."

   "Dammit, Starsk! Stop it, you're not going anywhere! You're staying right here with me..." Hutch said in a low, now trembling voice. He held his partner tightly in his arms, rubbing Starsky's cheek. Hutch was wearing down and was emotionally exhausted. He continued to hold his partner for what seemed like hours as Carisma rocked back and forth and side to side. The only sounds were the creaking of the boat and the waters of the ocean. He never wanted to let go.

    "Starsk? Talk to me, okay?" Hutch needed to hear his partner's voice. Starsky tried, but had become so weak. "Come on, Starsk, tell me where you got the Torino."

   Starsky was able to get out only a couple weak words. "I got the damn car from Merle."

   Hutch wanted to stay put holding his partner, but knew he had to do something... anything... to get help, to help Starsky. He was feeling desperate. He gently replaced his lap with a pillow for Starsky to rest on. He wanted to get more water into his friend. Starsky coughed, as it was hard for him to swallow.

   "Thanks, buddy." Starsky said, never taking his eyes off of Hutch.

   "I want to check out your back, Starsk." He realized from what he witnessed in the bucket that Starsky most probably had internal injuries to his kidney, possibly both and maybe to his bladder. He was shaking as he removed the towel over his stitch work. The bleeding was not near as bad, but still oozing a bit. The area was still swollen and had turned very black and blue. He cleaned the area once again with the antiseptic and covered it with clean towels. He ran back to the deck and fired off two more flares.

   God, please let someone find us, Hutch prayed. He played with the radio again, doing anything he could to make it work. He looked for anything he could to rig the box. He only needed to get two words to someone, anyone... May Day he thought. He went back into the cabin in search of something he could use to try and get the radio working. He glanced at Starsky who was curled up, holding onto his lower stomach and moaning with pain. He walked over to his partner who looked flushed, and laid a hand on his forehead.

   "You got a fever, bud." He didn't want to scare his partner by telling him that he was really hot and was burning up. For a moment Hutch forgot about looking for supplies for the radio and grabbed what little ice they had left. He put it in a bowl and ran some cold water, trying to make the ice and cold water last as long as possible. He laid a soaked cool towel over Starsky's chest and one over his forehead.

~~~

   A day and a half had past since the attack on Starsky. Hutch was desperately concerned about his partner who continued to become more weak and lethargic, drifting in and out of consciousness. In his waking moments Starsky would call for Hutch. He had become incontinent, as he was too weak to control his bodily functions. The urine that escaped Starsky continued to be bright red with blood. His fever seemed to climb and he grew paler.

   Hutch rested his partner against himself, holding him tightly, stroking his cheek, rubbing his upper back and kept talking to him. He cried when Starsky cried. Hutch was emotionally and physically deteriorating himself. It had been nearly two days since Hutch ate anything or slept. He had to be there for his partner, his needs definitely came first to Hutch.

   Night fell. Just before Hutch fell asleep with Starsky in his arms, he thought that if they did have to die, he would want them to be able to go together. He never thought it would happen like this, so fast and so soon in their lives. I wish I could give you more life, Starsk... you've given me so much. Their eyes were both now closed, possibly for the last time.

   Hutch dreamt that they were back on land and that Starsky was intact and well. He dreamt that Starsky was enjoying eating tacos and that he bought a car just like Starsky's from Merle. His mind was taking him to odd places. He dreamt of Terry and Gillian, that they still lived and all was well. He dreamt of Starsky and him having fun and of Starsky's fast driving... the motor was loud and getting louder.

   The loud motor woke him as he realized, or thought, that it was not Starsky's car, but a motor outside of Carisma. Both were too weak to move or to pay much attention to anything outside of their small space in the cabin of the boat. Hutch tightened his grip on Starsky and his eyes fell closed again.

   The motor was real. The coast guard had spotted their vessel and decided to investigate. Two men came down the ladder into the cabin to find Hutch holding Starsky in an area saturated with blood.

   "Sir?" One of the coast guards shook Hutch. "You okay, Sir?"

   The other man was surveying Starsky. "Hey," he said to his own partner. "We got a badly wounded man here! He needs help fast"

   Hutch was able to be aroused enough to ask the men to "please help his partner". The coast guard found Hutch to be okay for the most part, but dehydrated and in a state of exhaustion. He was lethargic.

   The two coast guards needed to get them both out of the cabin and into their boat where they could rush them to the nearest hospital. It took some time for them to get Hutch to let go of his partner. Even in his weak state, he did not want to let him go. He let out a cry as they did separate them, not knowing that the two men were there to help them. Hutch was delirious with exhaustion and dehydration. He had given all of the remaining water to Starsky to drink and to keep his fever down. Hutch had not slept in two days until he fell asleep recently with his partner. He had not eaten at all and barely drank anything.

   The coast guards were able to get the two onto their boat and rushed them to the hospital in record speed. They knew Starsky did not have much life left in him and needed emergency medical attention ASAP.

~~~

   At the hospital, an IV was started on Hutch to hydrate him and he was given a sedative to help him sleep and lessen the agitation and anxiety.

   Starsky was taken directly into the emergency trauma room and given immediate attention. IV's were started, blood samples were drawn, he was placed on oxygen and a heart monitor and a catheter was inserted. His blood pressure was very high. The doctors assessed him carefully, focusing on the wound on his back. They noted him to be extremely pale, dehydrated and unresponsive. They noted his incontinence and the bright red urine. He was diagnosed with renal failure almost immediately and assumed he had damage to his bladder also, explaining his extremely high blood pressure and bright red urine. He was taken into surgery within thirty minutes.

   Hutch woke calling for his partner. "Starsky! Starsky...where is my partner?"

   A nurse quickly came to his side to calm him, seeing the emotional distress he was in. She said, "Mr. Starsky was taken into surgery three hours ago. He should be in recovery very soon, and then he will be in the intensive care unit."

   The doctor gave the okay to release Hutch from medical care, as the IV had done its job. Hutch was feeling a bit stronger. He was instructed by the doctor to take it very easy, that he would still be very weak. Hutch got dressed and waited in the ICU waiting room for his partner's return from surgery.

   One hour later, Starsky arrived into the intensive care unit and the doctor came to speak with Hutch.

   "Mr. Hutchinson? I'm Dr. Nye, I operated on your friend and repaired his left kidney as much as was possible."

   "Will he be okay, Doc?" Hutch was still shaky and his only concern at the moment was his partner.

   "We have stabilized him with the surgery and we are giving him strong IV antibiotics. Mr. Hutchinson, your friend has had a severe injury to his left kidney as well as damage to the right one. He is in what we call renal failure. In plain terms, his kidneys are failing him. He will need surgery again as soon as he is a bit stronger, where we will need to remove the left kidney. We are looking at a kidney transplant for your friend, sir."

   Hutch trailed off and he seemed unsteady on his feet as the doctor assisted him to a chair. The doctor feared Hutch might pass out.

   "Is he going to make it, Doc? Is he gonna live?" Hutch was grief stricken and very concerned with the grim news the doctor had to offer, although he thanked God that his partner was alive. "When can I see him?"

   "You can see him now. Be prepared, as you will see a lot of machinery attached to him. We had to implant a shunt into his abdomen, which will allow us to assist him with dialysis."

   "What?" Hutch could not believe all he was hearing, all that was happening.

   "Mr. Hutchinson." The doctor noted Hutch's physical weakness and emotional distress. "Your friend will not survive without the dialysis until a donor is found for the kidney transplant. The dialysis will act as his kidneys since his own are not functioning. It will remove toxic wastes from his blood stream. That is what the kidneys would normally do through urinating. He is unable to do that right now and we need to help him."

~~~

   Hutch walked into Starsky's room. His partner's eyes were closed and he took note of all of the machines the doctor told him about. He just stood aside of Starsky's bed, afraid to move or touch his partner.

   Starsky opened his eyes and saw Hutch looking so scared, like a lost little boy. "Hutch? Hutch, are you ok?" Starsky said in a weak and lethargic voice.

   "Yeah... yeah, buddy... I should be asking you that. Oh God, Starsky...I'm so sorry, buddy. We never should have gone into those waters. I should not have pushed you so hard to go diving."

   "It's okay, Hutch, we made it, didn't we, partner?" Hutch was afraid to tell Starsky what happened to him and that his kidneys were damaged so bad that they were failing him and that... that he needed a kidney transplant if he were to survive.

   Starsky must have read his mind. He reached a weak hand out to Hutch. Hutch took his partner's hand in his own and sat on the chair next to the bed. Tears formed in his eyes as he was filled with guilt and concern for his friend.

   Starsky surprised Hutch when he told him that he knew exactly what his condition was and that he knew he would be okay as long as he had his friend to stand beside him, to be strong when he was weak, to catch him if he were to fall, to take away the tears when he cried and to just love him. "I know I can make it, Hutch. Just stay with me, huh?"

   It amazed Hutch over and over again how his friend could be so forgiving and find light in even the darkest of situations. How can he not be angry with me? I pushed him toward this vacation... I knew he was not crazy about going boating. I wanted to go scuba diving when all he wanted to do was play Monopoly.

   "I love you, buddy," Hutch said squeezing Starsky's hand tighter.

   "I know," said Starsky with the most gentle, loving smile Hutch had ever seen.

   "How do you do it, Starsk? You're making me feel better when you are the one in the hospital with all these complications."

   "It's easy, Hutch. I have the most wonderful friend a man could ask for. I am so lucky, Hutch, I have you. Doc says you saved my life, buddy."

   Both had tears in their eyes now. Both realizing how blessed they really were to have each other. They knew that not everyone is given a friendship like that in their lifetime and that they had been given a truly special gift in each other.

   "We're gonna get through this, Starsky. I want to do everything I can to help you get better. I'll do or give you anything I can."

~~~

   Once Starsky was strong enough, he was moved to a hospital in LA. Hutch was by his side all the way. He was there to support him through the dialysis treatments and held his hand through the painful times. Hutch was concerned as he watched Starsky become weaker and deteriorate right before his eyes. Dr. Wong, a colleague of Dr. Nye who was now taking care of Starsky, explained that Starsky was loosing his battle with the kidney failure, even with the dialysis. He informed him that it was time to put more emphasis on searching for a donor. Dr. Wong apologized that they did not begin their search sooner, but he did not expect Starsky to take a turn for the worse so fast. Time was once again crucial.

   Starsky's mother and other family members in New York were notified that day of the dire need to find a donor for their relative. Starsky's mother was on medication for high blood pressure and a thyroid problem, which excluded her from being a possible donor. Nick refused to be tested. Hutch made a personal call to him to plead for him to be tested, knowing a sibling would be the best chance Starsky had.

   Nick said, "I can't do it! Now, leave me alone! He doesn't need me. Why don't you give him one of yours? You give him everything else he needs!"

   Hutch wanted to explain that he would not be a suitable donor since they are not blood related, but Nick hung up on him before he had a chance. Hutch wanted to kill Nick and beg him at the same time.

   All of Starsky's other relatives came forth to be tested. They were all very concerned about their Davey. Unfortunately, not one of them was a close enough match.

   Starsky was very quiet as Hutch tried to cheer him up. "It's okay, Hutch, you don't have to try so hard. Ma always taught me never to ask why bad things happened in people's lives, but to be grateful for all the good things we had been given. Hutch," Starsky continued as tears spilled down onto his face. "I don't want to ask why...but I'm scared...and I need help...and...I don't want to die." Starsky was now sobbing heavily, which made his back and stomach hurt even more.

   Hutch moved to sit on the bed with Starsky and held him. He just left him cry as he knew his partner was scared and with good reason. Starsky held onto Hutch tightly. It was the only thing that he found comfort in.

   Starsky cried about Nick, his own brother, not wanting to help him. "Hutch, he could have saved my life. Does he hate me that much?"

    Hutch wanted to kill Nick for abandoning Starsky when he needed him more now than ever before in his life. Hutch thought of what Nick said about him giving Starsky one of his own kidneys. He would do it in a minute if he could. Actually, he would give him both of his kidneys if it would save his partner's life.

   Hutch mentioned it to Dr. Wong immediately at their first discussion about a donor. Dr. Wong said, "It just wouldn't work. Family members are the best candidates."

   Hutch walked hastily to Dr. Wong's office to talk with him again. "Dr. Wong, my partner is dying and there is no donor in sight. He can't last much longer like this, Doc! I see him getting weaker right in front of my eyes. Doc, he is my best friend and I love him very much. I demand that you at least let me be tested. There is a slight chance, isn't there? Doc, I can't stand seeing him suffer like this. I wish you knew how full of life and love Starsky was before all this happened... you'd understand. I can't lose him, Doc. Please, let me at least try." Hutch pleaded, tears welling in his eyes.

   Dr. Wong saw how disturbed Hutch was and figured he would run the tests on him. He knew it was no use to do it, but he knew it would help Hutch to know for sure. He knew all about the "what if's" in life.

   The testing was done.

~~~

   Hutch went back to be by Starsky's side. He sat in the chair next to the bed and touched Starsky's cheek, then the curls on Starsky's head.

   Starsky had been given a shot of strong pain medication and was asleep. Hutch took Starsky's hand and began talking to him.

   "Buddy... I don't want ya to give up, okay? I'm sorry about Nick, Starsk. I know that has to hurt you like hell, but it's not your fault. Nick is... the way he is." Hutch wanted to let loose on how he felt about Nick, but now was not the time.

   Hutch was trying to keep his crying silent as he continued to talk to his partner. He observed his pale and depleted friend and knew that he was losing ground fast. He prayed and begged for a miracle.

   "Starsky... please stay with me and keep fighting... please hang in here with me, buddy. I love you, Starsk." Hutch was really afraid and still weak himself. He rested his head on the bed, still holding Starsky's hand, and drifted off into sleep himself.

   He woke three hours later as he heard Starsky begin to moan. "What's wrong, buddy? I'm right here, Starsk." Hutch began to rub his partner's cheek once again. "Come on, buddy, talk to me... tell me what's wrong."

   "I feel strange, Hutch."

   "What do you mean, Starsk? Strange?"

   "I don't know." Starsky began to cry. "I'm just scared, I guess... Can you hold me, Hutch? I'm really afraid..."

   Hutch was careful not to hurt Starsky or tangle with any of the attached tubes as he lifted his partner's shoulders and slid behind him, resting against the headboard. He pulled Starsky back against him and wrapped his arms around his partner who now seemed to be in a panic. Starsky used all his strength to place his hand on top of his partner's. The contact was comforting and Starsky's sobbing began to ease as Hutch spoke reassuringly and softly to him. "I love you, too, Hutch." Starsky reminded his partner in a weak voice.

~~~

   Hours later, Dr. Wong came in to see Starsky and Hutch. Both were still drowsy. They had both slept and didn't move from the close position they fell asleep in.

   Dr. Wong came to the side of the bed with Starsky's chart and another folder in hand. He looked at the two in the bed and said, "How are my patients?"

   "Patients? What do you mean," Hutch replied.

   Dr. Wong began, "This is totally NOT textbook and I can't explain it. Things like this just don't happen. I've never witnessed something like this before."

   "Doc! What is it?" Hutch was getting impatient.

   "Mr. Hutchinson, the tissue typing and antibody screening tests that we ran on you... well, they came back as a match for your friend."

   "You mean I can help him?!" Hutch's eyes lit up.

   "Yes, sir. I've consulted my colleagues and we ran the tests three times. They agree that you may be able to give life back to your friend."

   Hutch was elated. "Starsk... Starsk! Did you hear that, buddy?" Hutch shook Starsky gently, which aroused him to a bit more alert state. "Hey, buddy, we did it! We got you a donor, Starsk."

   "Who?" Starsky said in disbelief.

   "Me, Starsk!" Your other brother, Hutch thought. "Doc says it's a miracle and that he has never seen anything like it before since we are not blood related, but I am a match for you, babe!" Hutch pulled Starsky closer to him and rested his cheek on the top of Starsky's head. "You're gonna be okay, Starsk. Thank God!"

   Starsky turned his head to rest his cheek on Hutch's chest and said, "Thank you," in his weak voice. "Thank you, buddy... I can't believe it. Are you sure you know what you are giving up? You sure you want to do this, Hutch?"

   "God, Starsk! I'd do anything for you."

   Both began to cry out of relief, hope, and happiness. Starsky reached to put an arm around the grip Hutch had on him, and held on tightly.

   "Thank you." Starsky whispered again and again. Hutch just held on tight to his strength and best friend.

~~~

   Starsky was started on the immunosuppresant drugs to minimize possible rejection of the new kidney he would soon receive. The doctors continued their attempts to boost his immune system and strength. They made his case priority as they declared his condition critical and very fragile.

   Hutch too was prepared as he was given a total medical workup to ensure that his body could withstand the surgery and loss of a kidney. Hutch passed all their tests and exams. He was ready and nothing was going to stop him from helping his partner. Prior to the surgery, Hutch was admitted to the same room Starsky was in. He would sit with Starsky, talking to him, comforting him and giving him all the hope possible. The night before the surgery, Hutch lay awake praying that it would all work out okay for Starsky, that he would not reject his kidney and that Starsky would have no complications. Hutch had enough faith for both of them. He still wondered how he could be the match and the miracle of it. He did not question it, but thanked God over and over again. Another of his prayers had been answered.

   Morning came quickly as both were prepped for surgery. Before getting their pre-op shots, Hutch went once again to talk to his partner one more time before the procedure would be done.

   "Starsky? Hey, buddy, can you hear me, babe? We're ready to go, bud. If there was ever a 'Me and Thee' time, I guess this would be the ultimate, huh? Starsky... you're gonna be okay... we're gonna be okay... we've been given yet another chance, buddy. I'll see you real soon after this is all over. Hang in partner and know that I'll be with you." Hutch stroked Starsky's cheek and hair once again before the nurses called him for his pre-op medication.

    He was able to squeeze Hutch's hand back weakly and whispered, "Thank you, Hutch... I love you, blondie," before his eyes fell closed again.

   The surgery went well. Both were admitted to the ICU following surgery. Hutch woke about four hours later in severe pain, but he welcomed it, knowing his partner now had a functional kidney and would be ok. He was given a shot for the pain before he had a chance to object. Before he drifted back into sleep he asked about Starsky. The nurse told him that his friend was stabilized and came through the surgery just fine.

~~~

   A couple days had gone by. Starsky was showing rapid signs of improvement. They continued him on the immunosuppresant drugs to avoid rejection. He was becoming more alert and the new kidney, his special kidney, seemed to be doing its job wonderfully.

   The doctors were a bit more concerned about Hutch as he was not bouncing back as they had desired. He was still in severe pain, which should have lessened by now. He was restless and lethargic. The anesthesia left him with severe nausea and vomiting. IV's were kept in as he fought dehydration and fever. He was still unable to void on his own and the catheter from surgery was not removed as the doctors had hoped it would be by now. He became confused and had to be restrained. The doctors blamed this on the anesthesia and hoped it would pass soon. Hutch was having a difficult time of things. He would call for Starsky over and over again. The nurses attempted to comfort him, telling him that his partner was doing just fine.

   "No... no... I have to see him... I have to see him!!!" Hutch tried to get up to find his partner, but the restraints stopped him. He was given a sedative to calm his restlessness and anxiety. The doctor noted Hutch to have the beginnings of phlebitis in his left calf, a common complication after surgery. This was treated appropriately. They tried to keep him calm and still. The sedatives were helping.

   Forty-eight hours later, Hutch's mental state was clearer as the anesthesia was getting out of his system. He remained very weak and in pain. As he was more settled, the nurses removed the restraints. Hutch, being more alert now, was very concerned about his partner. He had not seen him since before the surgery and missed him terribly. The nurses assured him that he was doing okay, but Hutch desperately wanted to see him. They spoke with Hutch's doctor.

   Starsky's condition was moved up to "fair" as he, too, was concerned about his partner. He asked many questions to the nurses and doctors about Hutch. He only received vague answers. They did not want to upset him in his condition. Starsky felt something was very wrong, as he was given no "good" news about his friend. He demanded to see his partner. Dr. Wong agreed to this, but told him they would have to take him to see Hutch on a litter. Starsky did not care how he got there, he just knew he had to see him now. He had become very suspicious of the answers he was getting and especially of the ones he was not getting. The arrangements were made as he was prepared to be taken to see Hutch.

   Starsky was wheeled into the hallway next to Hutch's room and waited for the nurse to take him in. He knew something was very wrong when all the nurses and doctors on the floor began to run into Hutch's room. Starsky was feeling terrified and helpless. He yelled for his partner. "HUTCH!!!!! HHHUUUUTTTTTCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!

   Starsky was frantic, as no one would answer his questions about what was going on with his partner. He was shaking as he tore out his IV's and slid off the litter. In a weak attempt, he made his way into Hutch's room. He had to get to his partner.

   The doctors and nurses were working fast. Starsky saw his partner clutching his chest. Hutch seemed very anxious and agitated and was noticeably short of breath. His color was very pale, bordering on cyanotic. Starsky made it unnoticed to a chair nearby and could only watch as terror filled his heart. Hutch was sweating profusely as the ICU team tried to calm him. Starsky noticed the sound of the heart monitor that was attached to his partner was ringing a loud sound of "alert".

   Starsky listened closely as the doctors spoke with each other and the nurses. He grabbed onto the chair so as not to fall, as he felt even weaker at what he heard.

   "Mr. Hutchinson! Ken! Come on Ken... calm down... we're going to help you but you need to calm down for us." Starsky heard the doctors talking about what they think may have happened to their patient. "He threw a clot," one said to the other as an oxygen mask was held over Hutch's mouth and nose. "We have been treating him for phlebitis since yesterday. I think we are dealing with a pulmonary embolism."

    Starsky held onto the chair nearby, hoping not to pass out or throw up.

   One nurse turned the bed up so Hutch was in a sitting position and another administered morphine to control Hutch's pain and panic. Oh God, he can't have morphine, you don't know what it will do to him, thought Starsky. At this time, though, Starsky was more concerned about his partner living, than dealing with the after effects of the medicine.

   Starsky maintained his position out of the way of the medical personnel and no one seemed to notice the weak, praying man. There was too much going on for anyone to focus on Starsky, nor did they have the time right now.

   "Starsky! Where is my partner? Please, let me see him." Hutch was still in pain, but the morphine was beginning to help. His panic seemed to be slowing down, but he was still restless and even somewhat combative to the doctors and nurses who were trying to help him. Starsky was off to the side of the bed and Hutch did not see him. Starsky watched as the nurses held the oxygen mask in place, which Hutch kept taking off. He watched as new IV's were hung and EKG's were taken. He saw nurses coming into the room with restraints. The doctor ordered another sedative be given as Hutch was still way to restless for his own good.

   "No! Please, don't restrain him. Hutch! I'm here, I'm here, babe." Starsky slowly made his way to his partner's bedside. Two of the nurses grabbed Starsky under his arms as he almost fell, attempting to get to his friend.

   Hutch reached for Starsky. "Starsky, Oh God, are you okay? They wouldn't let me see you." Starsky fell into Hutch's arms as they hugged each other tightly. Both began to cry. The nurses did not try to separate them. They saw the calming effect that each had on each other and how desperately they needed to be close right now.

   Hutch was stabilized, although he had a long road ahead of him, as did Starsky. The doctors ordered for the two to be able to share the ICU room that Hutch was in. They did not want or need another incident like the one they just witnessed and they had empathy for the two who seemed inseparable.

~~~

   Starsky was moved into Hutch's room. He was lectured by Dr. Wong regarding his behavior of pulling his IV's out and getting up without help. As he was put into bed the side rails were yanked up. He felt like a little boy being grounded. He sulked only a little bit as he was so glad to be next to his partner, where he could keep an eye on him.

   Hutch remained on bed rest with his IV's and oxygen on and mostly intact. He, too, had been scolded about his combative behavior and was reminded to stay in bed. The nurses threatened him with the restraints if he did not obey. He looked away as the nurses spoke to him and gave a nod of "yes." I understand! Neither of the detectives wanted to tangle with the nurses whose orders were very specific. Both Starsky and Hutch felt like they had been sent to a prison, not a hospital.

   After some complaining about the nurses and 'their punishments,' both began to laugh, holding their wounds as the laughing made them hurt. They were so happy to once again be together and thankful in knowing the other would be okay. Nothing else really mattered.

   That night Starsky decided to disobey orders when he heard Hutch crying in his sleep. He was having a nightmare. Starsky decided being with his partner well outweighed the wrath of the nurses.

   "Starsky! No! Get away from him... let him go! Starsky! Please. No! He's drowning... please... damn shark! Let him go!" Hutch continued with his nightmare.

   "Hey, Hutch! It's me, babe. Come on, buddy... it's just a dream. Everything's gonna be okay." Starsky tried to hold his partner's head still in an attempt to reach him. Hutch did not wake.

   "Oh my God! There's so much blood... God please help him... he's bleeding to death! He needs help! We need help! Nobody's coming!!!"

   Starsky shook Hutch gently, but enough to wake him. Hutch opened his eyes to see Starsky's face.

   "Starsky? You're okay? I'm sorry. I want to go home, Starsk. I want us to go home!" Hutch began to cry harder again. He was having a difficult time catching his breath as Starsky calmed him and adjusted the oxygen mask over his partner's nose and mouth.

   "Hey, Hutch. Shhhh. It's gonna be okay. I promise you. I'm okay and I'm alive, thanks to you, buddy. Everything is gonna be okay... you were having a nightmare, Hutch. It was only a dream. Try to relax, buddy." Starsky stayed with Hutch till he was calm, stroking his cheek till he fell into a more peaceful sleep, he then slipped back into his own bed before the nurses caught him.

   It was not until Starsky heard Hutch's words that he realized how much all of what they had been through had affected his partner and the toll it had taken. Starsky suddenly felt like the luckier of the two, as he knew he would not have been able to watch Hutch suffer in pain and bleeding uncontrollably with no help in sight. He once again felt the utmost respect for his partner whose courage and unconditional love for him saved his life.

   A few weeks later Starsky and Hutch were released from their prison. They decided to both stay at Starsky's apartment to recuperate, keep each other company and just be there for each other as both were going to need some physical support and a lot of emotional support.

   Captain Dobey met them at the discharge area to take his boys home. The Dobey's and Huggy were waiting at Starsky's apartment to surprise their friends when they got home. A welcome they feared may never come.

   Mrs. Dobey stocked the cabinets and fridge with food and beverages and put clean sheets on the bed. She also brought some of Hutch's clothing and other things to Starsky's apartment so he would feel more at home.

   Huggy was his jovial self. He thought he was being quite cute as he called his newly released friends, "Sharky and Hook." Neither Starsky nor Hutch seemed to find the humor in it.

   By the end of the evening both men were exhausted. They sat on the couch and fell asleep fully clothed as soon as their guests left. They didn't wake till morning. They were grateful that Edith was so kind to help them out and take care of them. They definitely were not up to getting groceries and housekeeping just yet.

   Recovery was going slowly but well. Each day both grew stronger. They started walking which eventually turned into jogging each day and they were trying to eat healthy, well, Hutch was anyway. They were careful to avoid fish. Neither wanted to see a fish for a long time.

   One night after watching the Mets slam the Phillies, the evening movie was advertised. "Coming up next on channel 11 don't miss JAWS. A movie not to be missed," the announcer went on.

   Both looked at each other with wide eyes and shook their heads NO. With that they turned off the TV, got out the Monopoly game and a couple beers.

THE END