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Part 2

BLACKMAIL

by

Kathy Kellenberger

PART 3

Chapter 19

    Starsky nodded off in spite of his attempts to stay awake and keep an eye on his partner. He woke as he heard Hutch moaning. The hand he was holding was cold. Icy cold. Starsky became alert immediately. Taking the hand that was in his, he tried to rationalize why Hutch's hands were so cold.

    "Hutch? Wake up, buddy." Starsky felt panic. He felt that familiar closeness of death once again. He rose to call an ambulance.

    "Starsky, where you going?"

    "I'm calling an ambulance, Hutch. Something's wrong and you need some help."

    "No, Starsk! Please don't do that. Don't make me go to the hospital." Tears were beginning to roll down Hutch's cheeks. "Starsky...the last time I was there I almost didn't come out." Hutch pleaded with his partner.

    "You're sick, Hutch. It's not getting better. You're dehydrated and your hands are so cold. The flu doesn't act like this. I just want to make sure you're okay." In reality, Starsky wanted to make sure Hutch was not dying. Maybe it’s some form of the plague coming back again.

    "Starsky...don't. I know this might not be the flu, but they'll take me away and...and...I'll never come home. They'll put me in a cold room, and they won't let you see me. I want you to stay with me. If I have to...I want to die at home, Starsk, with you holding my hand...please?" Hutch was sobbing and begging.

    "HUTCH! STOP IT!!!"

    "Starsky, listen to me. I left everything to you, including a nice-size life insurance policy. You can get yourself that house at the beach like you always wanted, and please, get a safer job. I don't trust anyone else looking out for you."

    Starsky was becoming frantic. It was not like Hutch to give up and refuse help. He had not realized how afraid, deathly afraid, Hutch had become of hospitals. He knew Hutch was not thinking straight. He didn't know what was happening to his partner.... It all came on so quickly. He held tighter onto Hutch's hand, realizing that the grip was not returned.

    "Hutch, can you feel my hand?"

    "My hands and feet are kind of numb. I know you're there, Starsk, that’s all that matters now." Hutch felt the closeness of death hovering and waiting to take him. He had resigned himself to it, believing he could not be well again.

    "Hutch! Stop talking like this.... You're scaring me!!! You're not gonna die, dammit!" Starsky was shaking and crying, too, now. He was scared. He ran for the phone and called 911. Just then there was a knock at the door.

    "Doc Gregory! Thank God! I called 911. Hutch...he's...he's really bad.... He's talking about dying.... Help him doc.... Help us."

    "Dave...calm down. Let me take a look at Ken."

    Doc Gregory could not believe the change in appearance of his patient in just 24 hours. It was not the flu.

    "You did the right thing Dave in calling 911. The ambulance will be here soon. Just keep talking to Ken and try to keep him awake."

    Dr. Gregory knew something was very, very wrong here. Hutch was extremely lethargic and looking into his throat he saw it was closing up. His skin was clammy and cool and he was beginning to wheeze. Hutch was going into shock quickly, too fast for Doc Gregory's comfort. He, too, started to pray for the ambulance to arrive very soon. He saw the distraught look on Starsky's face and observed him shaking and gasping for air himself, as if trying to breath life into Hutch.

    "Dave, you did the right thing. This came on very fast, whatever it is. You had no way of knowing that he would get worse this fast. I spoke with Dr. Guiseppi. He told me that he thought Ken only had the flu too, just as I told you. You couldn't have known it was something more. I know you're feeling guilty about not calling an ambulance sooner...but don't. You couldn't have known. Two doctors told you it was only the flu. Most people tend to believe us and trust us. If anyone is going to feel guilty, let it be me."

    "But Doctor Guiseppi was here last night. He saw how sick Hutch was. Why did he tell me not to worry, that it was just the flu and it would get better? He must have seen the changes in Hutch. Why didn't he do something? I feel so stupid and angry with myself for believing him."

    "I don't know, Dave. I'll have to talk with Nick as soon as I can."

Chapter 20

    Starsky tried to keep his partner conscious, talking about anything he could think of that was positive, which was not much at the time.

    "Hutch, stay with me, okay? Stay awake for me." Starsky reminded Hutch of the good times they had on previous camping trips they took together. He knew his partner loved the outdoors. Starsky realized that was a mistake just after the words left his mouth. Hutch started to cry.

    "I'm gonna miss that. I know you didn't really want to go on those trips, but you did it for me. Thanks, Starsk. You've done so much for me." Hutch swallowed hard. "I'm gonna miss you so much."

    "Aw, Hutch, please stop saying stuff like that. Help is on the way and you're gonna be okay. We're gonna go on lots more camping trips, buddy." Starsky kept stroking Hutch's forehead, running his fingers through the light blond hair.

    When there was no response, he knew that Hutch had become unconscious. He started sobbing, so bad he could hardly breath. Doc Gregory came around to the other side of the bed and pulled Starsky close to him, while keeping a close eye on his patient. There was nothing more he could do except to wait for the ambulance to arrive.

    The ambulance and paramedics were soon at Venice Place. They wasted no time getting the endotrachial tube into Hutch's throat and starting an IV. It took three tries to get the IV in as Hutch's veins were beginning to collapse. The paramedics could not hear a blood pressure with a stethoscope; his blood pressure was dangerously low. They had to palpate it. There was no time to waste. Hutch was losing ground fast. The paramedics had him on a stretcher and into the ambulance in record time.

    Starsky could only witness what was happening in horror. Grief consumed him. He looked at the empty bed from where his partner was just removed, wondering if Hutch was right, that he never would be coming home again. Starsky touched the spot where his friend had been lying, it was still warm. Then he took off after the paramedics.

    Doctor Gregory had a great concern for both of his boys. "Dave, you're coming with me to the hospital. You're in no condition to drive."

    "Doc, I have to be with him. This is what he was afraid of...of being alone...of dying alone. I'm losing him, Doc." Starsky was once again convulsing with grief.

    Doc Gregory put his arm around his young friend and assisted him outside to follow the ambulance.

Chapter 21

    Starsky waited alone in the emergency room waiting room. Hutch was right, they would not let Starsky near him. The waiting was endless and painful. Starsky didn't know if Hutch was even alive. No one was telling him anything. He sat, looking at the floor in a trance like state. He was numb and terrified.

    Dobey and Huggy interrupted his concentration. "Starsky, a Doctor Gregory called me and told me what was going on. He said you could use some support. I'm sorry Starsky, I didn't know Hutch was so sick."

    "Hi Cap'n, Huggy...." Starsky just put his head down again. His face was expressionless.

    "Come on Starsky, they're gonna come out here real soon and give you some good news about Hutch." Huggy tried to cheer his grieving friend. Starsky seemed so full of sorrow.

    He looked up at his friends. He knew they meant well, but they were not Hutch. Only Hutch could console him, and Hutch may have spoken to him for the last time.

    "Thanks, guys. It's different this time. Hutch has given up. He believes he is dying, and I am not so sure he's wrong. You didn't see him. He's so sick. I don't know what to do. I can't help him. I guess I'd feel like dying too if I was as sick as he is, but I just can't lose him, and I can't stop it either. I just don't know what happened. He pulled his back out a couple days ago and now...now he's at Death's door. I need him more than Death does." Starsky just put his head down again, tears falling silently onto the floor below him.

    "Detective Starsky?" A nurse called his name. He was sure it was to tell him that Hutch had expired. "Is there a Detective Starsky in here?"

    Starsky stood, shaking, not knowing how he would handle the news. "Yes, I'm Starsky."

    "I have an urgent message for you from Doctor Guiseppi."

    The message just read: "Starsky, I need to see you immediately in my office. I have information regarding your partner that you might find helpful."

    "Cap'n...Huggy...I can't leave.... What if something happens to Hutch?"

    "Starsky, we'll both be right here. Go on. Maybe he has some information that will help Hutch."

    Starsky agreed reluctantly and quickly went to meet Doctor Guiseppi in his office, which was in the building attached to the main hospital. "I'll be back in fifteen minutes. Please, stay here."

    It broke both men's hearts to see and hear their friend in so much torment, knowing that if Hutch didn't make it, Starsky may just give up and sink, too.

    Starsky ran to Guiseppi's office and went in without knocking. "What is it, Guiseppi?"

    Guiseppi was sitting behind his desk looking very distraught. "Starsky, your partner doesn't have the flu, I'm sure you know that by now. Please forgive me. If he dies, it is my fault. What has happened to him is my fault. I'm so sorry. They took my wife and are holding her hostage. They told me I had to kill Hutchinson. I didn't want to, but they gave me no choice."

    "What are you talking about? What the hell are you talking about!!!!" Starsky went to grab Guiseppi by the collar.

    "Don't come any closer." Guiseppi threatened the dark detective as he pulled a gun out from behind the desk.

    "Hey, take it easy. Just tell me what you are talking about. You're not making any sense."

    Guiseppi threw an envelope on the floor in front of Starsky. "It's all in there. Everything you need to know is in that letter. Take it. Take it and get the hell out of here!"

    Starsky knew there was no time to waste on this man who seemed crazed, the man he never trusted from the beginning. He turned to leave the room when the gun went off. Starsky turned to see that Nicholas Guiseppi shot himself in the head. He now lay with his bloody head on his desk. He was dead. Starsky thought about what the young doctor said....

    Starsky could only think about his partner, hoping it was not too late when he got back to the emergency room. He ran as fast as he could, taking the letter with him. He would report Guiseppi's suicide as soon as possible. Right now, Hutch was more important.

    "Any word yet Cap'n?"

    "No, nothing. Maybe no news right now is better than...well, you know what I mean. Hutch is strong, Starsky. We're not giving up on him." Dobey sat, closing his eyes, seeming to be praying.

    Starsky opened the letter. "Oh my God...oh my God." Starsky was almost whispering.

    "What is it, Dave?"

    Starsky ran out of the room and into the trauma room where Hutch now lay motionless, with more tubes and equipment in and on him than he had ever seen. He fought the feeling of faintness that overcame him and grabbed the emergency room doctor's arm.

    "Doc...doc, I just got this letter." Starsky's shaking hands pointed to the information that was crucial at the moment, and that could maybe save Hutch's life. "He's been poisoned with arsenic! You can help him now, right? Please, Doc.... Tell me he's gonna be okay."

Chapter 22

    The ER doctor read the letter. "Detective Starsky, this information is very helpful. We'll start to work on this immediately, but I can't make any promises to you. Your friend is in critical condition. He's not breathing on his own. He's in renal failure and severe hypovolemic shock. The human body can only take so much, and arsenic poisoning can often be fatal."

    "Please, Doc, do whatever you have to do, but please save him." Starsky looked past the doctor and moved slowly to his partner's side. "Hutch? Can you hear me, buddy? I'm right here with you. Don't be scared. I'm right here." Starsky just needed the contact with his partner to feel that he was alive.

    He gently placed on hand on Hutch's cheek and reached for the still cold hand with his other. There were no more words that Starsky could say, he was trying not to let Hutch hear him crying, if he could hear him at all. Starsky had to believe that Hutch knew he was there with him.

    "Detective? You're gonna have to wait in the waiting room. We need to help your partner. I'll come and get you the minute I know more." The doctor saw Starsky's affliction. "I promise."

    One of the nurses escorted him back to the waiting room, feeling that he might not make it without someone for him to hold onto. She had seen grief before, but could not help but feel deeply for this man who seemed to care so much for his friend. He seemed to be dying along with his partner. In her line of work she saw others lose their best friends, and it never got any easier.

    Starsky settled back into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs for more waiting, wondering, prayer, and hope. He handed the letter to Dobey. "Here, read it. Hutch is dying, Cap'n. He's been poisoned. You'll need to call a coroner for Guiseppi. He shot himself after he gave me this letter. He's in his office."

    Dobey nodded for Huggy to stay close to his detective. He read the letter, horrified at its contents. He went to the nurses' station to call the coroner and a couple of the other men that were under his supervision.

    Huggy stayed close to his friend. No words were spoken. There were no words that could comfort Hutch's other half now. Huggy believed in miracles, but how many miracles would his friends receive? He knew they had more lives than a cat, but they had already used most if not all of them.

    Dobey returned from making several phone calls. He, too, could only sit and wait and hope with Starsky.

    "Dave? How are you doing?" Doc Gregory had been talking with the emergency room doctor that was treating Hutch. He knew Starsky was in a fragile state of mind and needed to know if he was holding up okay.

    Starsky looked up, glad to see the man who cared for Hutch and himself for so many years. He felt better knowing doc Gregory was here. He knew how important Hutch was to him and that he would be honest with him about Hutch's condition. He wiped away at the tears that he could not stop from falling.

    "Doc, can you tell me anything? What are they doing to Hutch? Can they save him? Tell me he's gonna make it, doc." Starsky choked up and wasn't' able to go on with his questions.

    "Dave, I'm so sorry. They're doing everything they can for Ken. It might be a while before you can see him. At least they know what they are treating now. Can you forgive me, Dave? I never knew Nick had it in him to try to kill someone. Why would he want to harm Ken? I feel responsible for this.... I sent Ken right to him. I honestly didn't know...."

    "It's okay, doc. How could you have known? I have no idea why he would have wanted to hurt Hutch. I'm sure as hell gonna find out, but I have to stay here 'til I know Hutch is stable, and I need to see him."

Chapter 23

    It seemed an eternity until the emergency room doctor made his promised appearance. Starsky could only look at the doctor, searching his eyes for answers, hopefully good ones.

    "Detective? We have Mr. Hutchinson stabilized but he's still in critical condition. We've sent blood work and a urine sample to the lab, and also sent a hair sample to be analyzed. Hair analysis can help us to determine the levels of heavy metal toxins, or the arsenic. We have him on a ventilator to assist his breathing. His throat became too constricted for him to breathe on his own. He's severely dehydrated, Detective. We've started him on IV's to replenish the lost fluids and inserted a nasogastric tube into his stomach. We don't want him vomiting and it will keep him more comfortable. I'm going to be sending him for more tests and I've called in specialists from Hematology, Nephrology and a Toxicologist. We're doing everything we can for your partner. The next 24 to 48 hours will tell us if he will respond to the treatments. We're going to start him on hemodialysis and chelation therapy immediately."

    "Doc! I don't understand all that you're telling me. What is chelation therapy? Why does he need dialysis? Just tell me he's gonna live. Is he gonna be all right?"

    "I'm sorry, Detective. Sometimes I forget that not everyone is a doctor. If your partner survives the next 24 to 48 hours...I think he might have a chance. I'm sorry about your friend. He's lucky to have someone to care about him like you do. I think it would help if you could stay close to him."

    "You mean, I can stay with him?" Starsky was sure he misunderstood the doctor.

    "I think it would be beneficial to Mr. Hutchinson...well, to both of you, if you did. He's in and out of consciousness and I know he is scared. What patient wouldn't be with so many tubes and monitors attached and in them. Your captain and Doctor Gregory told me about the two of you. They convinced me it would be crucial for you to stay by his side. From what I've been told, I have to agree. We'll be moving your partner to the intensive care unit very soon. You can see him as soon as the nurses have him settled."

    Starsky settled back into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, once again, in the waiting room. He was still shaking and feeling sick himself.

    Dobey was on the move to find some answers regarding Guiseppi, and Huggy had to return to his customers. At least Hutch was alive and he would be able to see him soon. Starsky didn't want Hutch to be afraid. He had to make his partner want to live again. Starsky was not going to let him give up.

    It's not gonna end like this.... It just can't.... Please, God, help him.

    Starsky thought he was all cried out when a few more tears escaped his eyes. He was exhausted and distraught. He rested his head into his hands and tried to subdue the shakiness and nausea he was feeling. Maybe this is just a nightmare and I'll wake up real soon.... Unfortunately this was not a nightmare, but very real.

Chapter 24

    Doctor Gregory found Starsky in the waiting room, still alone, still in shock

    over what was happening to his partner. "Dave, are you okay?"

    Starsky lifted his head from his hands at the welcome sound of the trusted doctor. "Hi doc. They told me that Hutch is stabilized, but they're not sure he is gonna make it. They said they would know more in 24 to 48 hours. I'm scared doc...I'm really scared." Starsky leaned back in the chair and looked up as though he were praying.

    "Doctor Booth, the doctor who has been treating Ken in the emergency room said it would be at least thirty minutes until they have Ken settled and you can see him. Why don't you let me buy you a cup of coffee?"

    "I guess I could use that...thanks...but I can't leave here. What if Hutch needs me?"

    "Come on Dave. Doctor Booth has orders to page me if there is any change in Ken's condition."

    The two went down to the cafeteria. Starsky had many questions, as Doctor Gregory knew he would.

    "Doc, Doctor Booth said something about starting Hutch on hemodialysis and chelation therapy immediately. What are those things and why does he need them?"

    "Dave, I'll try to explain these things as simply as I can. You know that arsenic poisoning is very often fatal. We don't know how much of the arsenic concentration Ken ingested, but from the results of the lab work, it was a large amount. He's very sick Dave."

    "Does he have a chance, Doc?"

    "The hemodialysis and chelation therapy are the best treatments for arsenic poisoning. Ken is in renal failure right now. This is very common with this type of poisoning. His kidneys are no longer able to remove the body's natural toxins, let alone the concentration of built-up arsenic. Hemodialysis is a method of removing these toxic substances from the blood when the kidneys are not able to do so. Hemodialysis works by circulating the blood through a machine that can remove these toxins. We are going to treat Ken with external hemodialysis. This involves two catheters, one that is placed in an artery and one in an adjacent vein, then both are joined externally. One treatment with the dialysis can take up to several hours and we will need to watch him closely. He will need the dialysis at least three to four times a day."

    "Will this be painful for him? He's been through so much."

    "No Dave, inserting the needles may be uncomfortable, but other than that it should not be painful. Come on, drink your coffee. When was the last time you ate anything? You need to keep yourself strong, for yourself and for Ken."

    "I know, Doc. I can't remember the last time I ate anything. Hutch was so sick, I wasn't thinking of food."

    "Come on son, we need to keep you strong. About the chelation therapy, Ken will be started on this immediately also. I know this must seem all so foreign to you. Believe me Dave, it is the only hope that Ken has right now. The chelation therapy binds heavy metals, of which arsenic is one type of heavy metal, and it will hasten its excretion from his body. Dimercaprol and Calcium EDTA are the best chelating drugs used to combat Arsenic poisoning. The Dimercaprol must be injected deep intramuscularly. This may be painful for Ken. He will be receiving this every four hours for the first two days of the therapy, then three times a day on the third day and then twice a day for the next ten days. He may experience some tachycardia and may develop a fever. The Calcium EDTA is another chelating drug that is used in combination with the Dimercaprol to help the kidneys excrete the arsenic. We can give this medicine to Ken intravenously, which will not be so painful for him. The EDTA may cause some vein irritation since it is a strong drug. It could cause him to have some pain, headaches and/or low blood sugar attacks and some other detoxification effects. We will be monitoring him extremely closely. One treatment with the EDTA can take up to three to four hours. We certainly will be keeping him busy. The tremors he is experiencing and the weakened muscle effects usually disappear within four to five days after beginning this treatment. He will need at least ten treatments with the chelation drugs. We will evaluate his progress at that point to see if he is responding to the treatments. We'll keep him as comfortable as possible, I promise, Dave."

    "Thanks, Doc." Starsky became very emotional once again at the prospect of what was going to be done to his partner. He knew Hutch was terrified of needles. This seemed to be one huge nightmare. It was.

    "I'm sorry, Doctor Gregory, you must think I'm a big baby. I'm usually a lot stronger than this. I just want my friend back. I'm still feeling bad for not calling an ambulance sooner. And I handed him the pills that Guiseppi gave him. I actually put them in his mouth and told him to swallow them. Oh God...if he dies...I'll feel like I killed him."

    Doc Gregory put a hand on his young friend's shoulder. "Dave, you had no way of knowing. None of this is your fault. Please don't do this to yourself."

    "Thanks for explaining all that stuff. I might be asking you some more questions later. I have to get up to see if I can see Hutch now. I need to be with him. I need to see him breathing and I need to see that the heart monitor is beating at a steady rhythm. If he's conscious, I really need to talk to him."

Chapter 25

    Starsky walked through the intensive care unit, cautiously peeking into each room in search of his partner. When he found him, he stood holding onto the doorframe for support. The doctor had told him there would be many tubes, machines and monitors, but this...it was too much. He slowly walked over to the bed that held his partner. Hutch seemed to be sleeping. Starsky didn't know where to stand or sit, his partner seemed so small and lost in all of the paraphernalia. Starsky went to ask Hutch how he felt, but quickly remembered Hutch would not be able to respond with the tube in his throat. He didn't even know if his partner was conscious. It would have to be enough to just be near him for now, and that was enough...for now. Seeing the heart monitor's rhythm and the rise and fall of his chest was of some comfort. He stood next to the supine figure in the bed...his partner...his friend. Starsky felt lost and afraid. He needed Hutch, but Hutch couldn't be there for him. Starsky would have to be the strength for them both for now.

    He gently took one of the cold hands into his own warm hand. "Hutch?" Starsky whispered. "Hutch, I don't know if you can hear me babe, but I'm right here. I'm so sorry Hutch. You shouldn't have to be going through this buddy. You're gonna be okay, you have to believe me Hutch. You have to fight this. It might be the hardest fight of your life, but you can do it...you have to do it...fight as hard as you can...I'll be right here fighting this with you." Starsky moved his hand up to Hutch's forehead and stroked at the soft fine hair.

    It wasn't long before the nurse came in to start the treatments that the doctors told him about. The nurses had already been given instructions to let Starsky stay with his partner. They were told it would be for Hutch's benefit to have his friend with him, but the nurses knew that the doctor's often left the ones closest to the patient stay with them when their chances of survival were slim. They treated Starsky with the utmost respect and tried to make him comfortable, knowing how difficult it must be for him to see his friend in such a weakened and broken state.

    The nurse began to set up for the hemodialysis. She didn't push Starsky away, but told him that this was a sterile procedure and that he would have to step back a bit. He stood at the foot of the bed. He winced as he saw the needles being inserted, thanking God Hutch was not awake for the experience. Life's events had made Hutch afraid of hospitals and absolutely terrified of needles.

    "Do you think he can feel that?"

    Hutch did not make a move.

    The nurse tried to assure Starsky that he probably was not feeling the needles being inserted, but that it was critical for this to be done. "You can call me Amy. I'll be taking care of your friend tonight." Seeing the color draining from the visitor's face, she asked that he take a seat. "I'm going to tell you everything that I am doing. I understand you're going to be staying with Mr. Hutchinson?"

    "Yeah, the doc said it would be best for me to be with him. I know it's best for me. Hutch...that's his nickname, he's my best friend. I couldn't stand leaving him. He'd never leave me. We're good for each other. You can call me Dave, and please call my partner Ken, that’s his real name. He was so afraid to...." Starsky realized he was saying more to this person that he just met than was maybe appropriate. He felt like he was in a fog, just talking, hoping that talking about his partner being alive would keep him that way.

    "What were you going to say, Dave? Ken was so afraid of what?"

    "He was so afraid to come to the hospital. He was really sick about six months ago and well, I thought I was gonna lose him then. I never felt so helpless, until now. He has to be okay. He's my best friend, my partner and my family. I need him." The words escaped Starsky in such a sad tone.

    "The doctors are doing everything they can possibly do for Ken. Never give up hope, I see miracles happen here everyday. You're not going to let him give up. He knows you're here. Keep talking to him. He'll be in and out of consciousness. He's gonna need you when he wakes up."

    "Thanks Amy. You gonna be here all night?"

    "Yes, I'll be here all night and I'll be staying pretty close to Ken, and to you, too." Amy winked at the man who seemed to be so close to her patient. She knew that he was going to need a lot of support too. "Hey, if you need to talk...please ring for me, and remember, Ken knows you're here." She smiled and left the room.

    Starsky pulled the chair as close as he could to his partner and settled in for a long night. He just stared at his partner, looking at the life that was still present in him. He held onto Hutch's upper arm thinking he would be able to feel that he was there with him. Before too long, Starsky was asleep, resting his head on the bed next to his partner's arm.

Chapter 26

    The distant sound of the heart monitor beeping and the hum of the respirator was getting louder. His eyes opened slowly and as his vision cleared just a bit he scanned the room. White, cold, sterile walls.... He felt disoriented as he looked up to see the monitors and many IV's. Fear and pain started to surface rapidly. My stomach...it hurts,...and my throat...its so sore...I can't swallow,...why can't I feel my hands or my feet...STARSKY!!!!

    Starsky was jolted awake as his partner began to thrash around. He almost thought he heard Hutch call his name. Must have been dreaming.... The heart monitor showed Hutch's heart-rate climbing steadily.

    "Hutch...I'm right here." Starsky moved even closer to his partner and held him tighter. "You're in the hospital, buddy.... Try to relax. I'm not going anywhere."

    Starsky wasn't prepared. He didn't know how much information he wanted or didn't want to tell his partner just yet. He gently grabbed Hutch's arm and lowered it to the bed when he saw him reaching for the tube in his throat.

    "No, buddy, that tube in your throat has to stay there for now. It's helping you to breathe. I'm sure they'll take it out soon and you'll be breathing on your own."

    Hutch's eyes spoke to Starsky. He could read the fear and pain and the questions he knew would have come if the tube had not been secured in his throat.

    Hutch looked at the IV's in his arms questioningly and then up to his partner. Starsky knew he had to give Hutch some sort of an explanation. When he saw the tears begin to roll down Hutch's face, he knew the explanation needed was now. Starsky moved to sit on the edge of the bed, continuing to keep one hand on Hutch's shoulder and gently wiped the tears away with his other hand.

    "Aw, Hutch...I know you're afraid, and I know you didn't want to come to the hospital. I'm sorry, buddy, but we didn't have a choice. You were so sick. I couldn't just let you suffer.... You needed help. The doc said I could stay with you at all times, so I'm gonna be right here. You're gonna be all right, Hutch."

    Starsky did his best to convince his partner that he would be okay. He would not tell Hutch how critical his condition was, nor about the crucial 24 to 48 hours.... Starsky would not believe that himself, he couldn't.... Hutch had to pull through this. Starsky gave his partner a shortened explanation of what happened and why he got so sick. He wanted to give Hutch the hope he knew he needed, hope to believe he would recover. He left out any negative information about his condition and prognosis. Starsky knew that that information would devastate Hutch and might cause him to give up. Hutch could not know that his time might be very limited and Starsky would not let his partner see how much that information was destroying him.

    Hutch shook his head back and forth, seeming unable to believe all that happened...all that went wrong.

    Amy entered the room, concerned about the increase in Hutch's heart rate and to begin another treatment.

    "Hi, Dave." Amy gave a concerned and empathetic smile. Seeing that Hutch was awake, she informed them both about the chelation therapy that the doctor had ordered.

    "Ken, I'm gonna give you a shot. I won't lie to you, this one will probably be painful. You just hang onto that partner of yours for me, okay?" She and Starsky turned Hutch onto his side as this medicine had to be given deep intramuscularly, into the buttocks.

    Starsky's heart started to beat faster too, as he knew how terrified Hutch was feeling. He gave his partner as much of a bear hug as he could and rested his cheek against Hutch's, still streaming with tears. He did this out of love for his partner and also because he knew that Hutch might try to fight Amy because of the needle. He held on tighter as he felt Hutch's trembling become worse.

    Hutch tried to hold onto Starsky's arm as he felt the nurse clean the area with alcohol before piercing the needle deep into his bottom. His hands were still unable to grasp onto anything. He stiffened as the needle went in and tried with any strength he had to pull away as he felt the medicine being injected. It burned and it hurt.

    Starsky kept his partner still and talked soothingly to him. This all seemed so unreal to Starsky, too. He fought to stay strong for Hutch...he had to.

    "I'm sorry, Ken. I know these shots aren't pleasant. I just need to take your temperature then I'll rub some lotion on your back." Amy took a liking to both detectives and wanted to comfort them in any way possible. She silently cursed at "whoever" put her patient in this condition, wondering why anyone would want to hurt someone who seemed so nice and gentle as Ken, and it saddened her to watch Starsky, who seemed to be deteriorating along with his best friend. She said a silent prayer for them both.

    Hutch stiffened again as the thermometer was inserted. He was desperately trying to talk. He didn't want any of this, he just wanted to be left alone. If he was going to die, he just wanted to be alone with Starsky for whatever time they had left.

    "Amy, how often does Hutch need to get these shots?" Starsky asked almost pleadingly.

    Amy felt bad in telling him that the injections needed to be given every four hours for the first two days, three times a day on the third day and two times a day for an additional ten days.

    Starsky tried to hide the tears welling up in his own eyes. This was not at all what he wanted to hear and he felt his partner's devastation as Hutch left the arm he was trying to hold onto Starsky with fall onto the bed. Amy removed the thermometer, rubbed Hutch's back and left the two detectives alone.

Chapter 27

    The night was restless and frequently interrupted for them both. Amy had gotten a more comfortable chair for Starsky as she knew he would not leave his partner. The night was filled with one doctor after another coming in to poke, prod and examine Hutch. Further injections added to Hutch's and Starsky's misery. Hutch seemed to fight against the injections and the doctors, he just didn't want this, any of this. It was when Hutch stopped fighting that Starsky started feeling more helpless and hopeless. Hutch had no more energy to battle the treatments or the doctors. He was exhausted and seemed to surrender and resign himself to his death. It broke Starsky's heart to see his partner giving up. He had to leave the room at times, not wanting Hutch to see him crying.

    Starsky stepped outside of the room and leaned against the wall. Amy saw Starsky's despair. She watched as her patients loving friend stood against the wall shaking and quietly sobbing. He slowly slid to the floor until he was sitting with his head in his hands when he began to crumble.

    Amy walked over to Starsky and knelt down beside him. "Dave, are you all right?"

    Starsky wiped at his tears with his shirt sleeve and looked at Amy with swollen, bloodshot eyes. "He's going so fast, Amy. I'm losing him and I can't do anything to help him." Starsky could not go on as the hopelessness and despair in his heart could no longer be contained. He was once again sobbing. "I'm sorry, Amy, I'm supposed to be strong. Hutch needs me and I'm out here crying. I just can't let him see me like this. I think he's already given up.... I don't know what I'm gonna do without him. I have to pull myself together.... I need to be with him...and he needs me."

    Amy wanted to help so bad. There are no words of comfort when someone is losing their best friend, and she had not seen a bond so strong in a very long time, if ever. She pulled Starsky into a warm hug and left him cry. She could only be there for both Starsky and Hutch. She knew that Hutch's life was now in the hands of fate. Hutch was deteriorating rapidly, but she still had to offer some hope.

    "Dave, I've seen many miracles working here in the ICU. Don't give up, Dave, and don't let Ken give up, either. Now go on...get in there. Your best friend needs you." Amy stood, took Starsky's hand and led him back into his partner's room.

Chapter 28

    The rest of the night followed pretty much the same pattern. Constant interruptions, another injection, another dialysis treatment and frequent visits from the nurses and doctors. The doctors were doing everything possible to save Hutch's life and the nurses were doing all they could to just keep him comfortable.

    Hutch would wake at times, just to stare at nothing in particular, before finding Starsky's eyes. Starsky gave him as much love and encouragement as he could give to his friend, the person he loved most in this world. Hutch would try to hold onto Starsky's offered hand but could not fold his fingers around the hand that he so desperately needed. His arms went to his stomach when the cramps got bad. The nurses wanted to give him medication for the pain, but he held up his arms with the little strength he had and shook his head no. He was assured that the pain medicine could be given through the IV or through the tube that went into his stomach. He still refused. He didn't want anything else to make him sleep. He needed this time with Starsky. He had so many things he wanted to say to his partner. He knew he would not have the chance to thank Starsky for everything that he had done for him over the years. What hurt him most of all was that he would not be able to say good-bye to his friend. Tears once again escaped his eyes, the only form of communication he had left.

    Starsky was able to read the pain, fear and sadness in the eyes that never left him except when he was not able to keep them open. Starsky was being as strong as he could be. At least when Hutch had the plague, there was some hope in finding Callander. When he was trapped under his car there was at least the hope of finding him alive. When Forrest so cruelly beat Hutch and got him addicted to the heroin, Starsky found him and knew he could pull him through the withdrawal. What could he do now? The damage was done. Starsky swore he would kill Luke Cirillo with his bare hands if Hutch didn't make it.

    "Hey Hutch, I'm right here with you, buddy. I know you're scared...just know that I'm here with you. I love you, buddy. You gotta keep fighting Hutch. Please, don't give up on me. We've made it through so much before when things seemed out of control and hopeless...but we made it. Don't let go on me...please, buddy.... Fight...please.... I know you can do it. We're not finished with our journey yet. We have so much to accomplish together, and I'm not doing it without you."

    Starsky savored the moments he had alone with Hutch. He inspired and motivated him in any way he could, verbally and physically. He held onto him and stayed as close to his partner as he could. The feeling of Hutch's warm body and the baby blue eyes that were still open at times meant everything to him now. Starsky ran his fingers through the fine light blond hair and wiped away at the tears that came so easily now. Oh, what those eyes said to him over the years. He wondered how they came to communicate with only a look into each other's eyes. He thought of all of the times when he tried to convince Hutch that he had ESP...playing the number game...one of Starsky's favorites. As disinterested as Hutch seemed to be in this game, he usually guessed the right number. Was it just coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not. Starsky knew they had a unique gift of communication together and a bond that most people would never have. Oh, how he loved his friend. He knew they took chances with their lives everyday on the job, but he never imagined the time they were given together might be taken away so soon. It wasn't just or fair. Hutch didn't deserve this. Dying would have been bad enough, but dying like this was horrifying and seemed so cruel. Starsky reminisced in his mind of the times they talked about growing old together, wondering if they would ever meet a woman who would put up with their lifestyles enough to marry them, about having children and about the Torino. Starsky felt eerie thinking of driving the Torino without Hutch beside him. Yes, it was his car, but not really. Starsky loved his car, but it really belonged to both of them. It was their trademark. It just wouldn't be the same driving that car without Hutch.... Nothing would be the same without Hutch.

    Starsky's concentration was once again broken as the nurse came in to administer yet another injection to his partner. Hutch was at the point where if he was awake, he tensed when anyone walked into the room, anyone except Starsky. Each injection seemed to hurt more as he was getting so sore. He could only hope whatever they were doing to him was working, but he had his doubts. If only he could talk. Once again, he resigned himself to the pain that was about to come. What choice did he have? None that he could think of. He was just so thankful that Starsky was there, his only comfort now.

    "Where do we go from here.
    We had it all. You believed
    in me and I believed in you..."
    EVITA

Part 4