Pat Chachich

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll forever be thankful...

   The pain started getting real bad after they left Sweet Alice's condo. Starsky tried, he really tried to remain strong for Hutch. He felt in his heart that he was dying, some things you just know, and there was not a thing he could do about it. He knew Hutch would do everything in his power to find who injected him with the poison, but they had less than 24 hours and Starsky didn't feel he would last even that long. Death was claiming his body fast and without mercy. Did it have to be so cruel?

   Starsky was beginning to lose coordination and his sight was fading as well. He kept going, for Hutch, his partner and best friend. He hated leaving him behind, knowing how much it would hurt him. He also knew that if it was Hutch who was dying, he would not want to go on without him...he would not know how.

   Starsky could no longer hide his pain when they arrived at Janos' studio. He collapsed despite his will to stay strong. The pain was just too bad. He no longer had control over his body, the poison was now in charge. It would do with him what it was meant to do. For the first time, both realized just how limited their time together might be, as Hutch held Starsky in his arms, comforting and loving him...two hearts being torn apart.

   Starsky managed to pull himself together and struggled to his feet with Hutch's help. He even managed to crack a few jokes, but though Hutch laughed, he knew he hadn't fooled his partner. Hutch could always see right through him. He was able to push the pain to the background while they talked with Janos, but once they came back out into the alley - after finding out that Janos wasn't the one they were looking for - it all came rushing back. He sank down on the steps, trying hard to fight the despair that threatened to overwhelm him. "It hurts, Hutch. Oh God, it hurts." The words slipped out before he could stop them. The last thing he wanted was to burden Hutch with anymore than he was already dealing with, but this pain was more intense than anything he had ever felt before. Hutch was quickly beside him, putting a comforting arm around his shoulder. Starsky leaned against him, and Hutch wrapped both arms around him, pulling him close. Starsky closed his eyes and leaned against Hutch's chest, feeling the love coming from his partner as he held him tightly. And even though he was still scared, and it still hurt, he felt a small sense of peace, knowing that no matter what, Hutch would be there; that he wasn't alone.

   After a couple of hours of driving around the city, checking with various contacts, they were still no closer to finding their last remaining suspect, Al Wedell. Starsky continued to try to hide the waves of pain that were coming with increasing frequency, not wanting Hutch to know how bad it was getting. He looked over at Hutch, who was gripping the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white; his eyes intent on the road, his jaw clenched. Starsky wished with all his heart that he could do something to make this easier for Hutch, knowing how he would feel if their situations were reversed. He reached out a hand and placed it on Hutch's shoulder, squeezing gently. Hutch looked over at him and lifted one of his hands to cover the one on his shoulder, squeezing it in return.

   Finally, after another half hour, and talking to two more contacts with no results, Hutch drove back to Starsky's apartment and insisted that Starsky get some rest. Starsky attempted to argue, but didn't really have the energy to keep it up. He lay down on the couch, and Hutch covered him with the throw, then sat beside him and stroked the hair back from his sweaty face. It was only a matter of minutes before Starsky drifted off.

   When he woke, it was dark outside. The only light in the apartment came from one small table lamp. He saw from the clock that he had been asleep for almost an hour. He looked around for Hutch, and saw him standing at the window, looking out at the night. Starsky's eyes filled with tears as he saw his partner's shoulders shaking, though he wasn't making a sound. Struggling up from the couch, Starsky made his unsteady way across the room. Hutch turned toward him as Starsky came up beside him, attempting to discreetly wipe at his eyes. Their eyes met, and Starsky could see the sadness and fear in Hutch's eyes. He knew Hutch could see the same in his. Once again Starsky wished he could do something to take that pain and sorrow away from Hutch. There was so much he wanted to tell him - how much he appreciated him always being there for him, how proud he was to have him as a partner and best friend, how much he loved him. Somehow, he couldn't find the words, but as they stood there looking at each other, Hutch gave him a little smile and Starsky knew that his partner understood. They pulled each other into a tight hug; comforting each other and giving each other strength.

   They arrived back at the station around 9:00 p.m. Hutch had Cheryl give Starsky something for the pain, which didn't eliminate it, but brought it down to a more tolerable level. He and Hutch were in Captain Dobey's office, trying to figure out where else they could look for Wedell, when Dobey walked in, looking grim. When he told them Wedell had been dead for four days, both men stood there stunned for several minutes. If it wasn't Wedell, or Bellamy, or Janos, they were back to square on with nothing to go on. Hutch had reached out to grasp his arm, but now Starsky turned wordlessly away and walked slowly back into the squad room. Hutch followed. They sat down at their desks, both trying to come to terms with the information they had just been given. Both beginning to realize that they might not be able to solve this one in time. Needing an anchor, Starsky reached out his hand and Hutch took it firmly in his. Looking into Hutch's eyes, Starsky received the reassurance he was looking for. "Don't worry. I'm here. You're not alone."

   The sudden unwelcome interruption of a lady who had been looking at mug shots, turned out to be a godsend. She had seen Vic Bellamy at her pharmaceutical company, buying material to make a leg cast. A sudden surge of hope went through both Starsky and Hutch as they hurried to the car, Hutch supporting Starsky by the arm.

   It was nearly midnight when they pulled up in front of Bellamy's apartment building. Hutch tried to get Starsky to wait in the car, but he insisted on coming in. As he told Hutch, he had a "vested interest" in the case. Also (and this he didn't tell Hutch) he didn't like the idea of Hutch facing Bellamy alone, although he wasn't sure how much help he'd be in his current condition. As it was, Hutch had to half carry him up the last few flights of stairs after Starsky fell on the landing. Bellamy's girlfriend said he was on the roof. Hutch left Starsky leaning against the door frame, told him to stay put, and with a brief squeeze of his arm took off up the stairs two at a time.

   When Bellamy's girlfriend told him Vic had a gun, Starsky knew what he had to do. Hutch needed him. He knew Hutch wouldn't shoot Bellamy; they needed him alive to find out what was in the syringe. Hutch needed Starsky up there to watch his back. It didn't matter that Starsky could barely stand up, or that his vision was getting fuzzy. As long as Starsky was breathing, he would be there for Hutch. Somehow he made it to the roof, the sound of gunshots giving him a sudden burst of strength and making him even more determined to help Hutch. As he stood there just outside the stairwell, Starsky saw Hutch crouching down behind a heating duct. Bellamy was behind Hutch, out of Hutch's site, slowly closing in with his gun pointed straight at Hutch. Starsky didn't hesitate. He pulled his gun, frantically blinking to clear his vision, and fired. The bullets hit Bellamy and sent him sprawling. Hutch spun around, and expression of shock and horror on his face. He ran to Bellamy, his expression turning desperate, but Bellamy was dead.

   Moving as if in slow motion, Hutch walked over to where Starsky was leaning against the wall, panting for breath. Climbing the stairs and shooting Bellamy had used up what little stamina Starsky had, and he could barely stay on his feet. But it was worth it. Hutch was safe. Hutch looked at him with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and despair on his face. They stared into each other's eyes, and Starsky tried to tell Hutch everything would be OK, but suddenly his legs refused to hold him up a minute longer, and he collapsed, vaguely aware of Hutch's arms catching him and lowering him gently to the ground.

   Starsky didn't remember much about the ride to the hospital. He roused slightly when Hutch laid him gently in the car, then ran around and slid in under the wheel, pulling Starsky over to lean against him. Hutch drove off with a squeal of tires, and Starsky faded back into oblivion. The next thing he was aware of was waking up in the emergency room, surrounded by medical personnel and equipment. Only able to move his eyes, he immediately looked for Hutch and saw his partner standing at the foot of his bed, talking to the doctor. Starsky couldn't see Hutch's face, but he knew from the dejected slump of Hutch's shoulders, that the doctor didn't have good news. He watched as Hutch nodded slowly and came over to stand next to his shoulder. Hutch leaned in close, laying his hand on Starsky's shoulder. Both of them knew this was very possibly the last time they would see each other. It just didn't seem fair. There was so much left that they had wanted to do. And always, when they had talked about the future, it had included each other. They gazed into each other's eyes, oblivious to everyone else in the room. As usual, they didn't need words as both communicated how much they loved and cared for each other, and also what they had prayed they would never have to say to each other - Good-bye. They could have stayed like that forever, but suddenly the orderlies were there, wanting to take Starsky upstairs to ICU. After helping them transfer Starsky to the stretcher, Hutch reluctantly stepped back, but still kept his eyes on his partner. Starsky attempted to keep Hutch's face in sight as they wheeled him toward the elevator, but the medicine they had given him for the pain was taking effect and soon everything was black.

   The first thing he was aware of was bright sunlight streaming in the window. He lay still for a minute, trying to remember what had happened. All at once, everything came back. Bellamy. The poison. But wait. Something wasn't right. Bellamy had said 24 hours, which meant time would have run out at 4:00 a.m. But from the light coming in the window, it was obviously morning. He frowned and turned with difficulty to look around the room. He felt tired and weak, but thankfully noticed the pain was gone. He smiled when he saw Hutch slumped in the chair next to the bed, sound asleep. Starsky tried calling to him, but his voice came out barely a whisper. Hutch, however, came instantly awake, looking towards the bed. A big smile lit up his face when he saw Starsky awake, and he quickly came to sit on the edge of the bed, taking hold of Starsky's hand. "Hey, buddy. How're you feeling?" Starsky smiled back at him, but he still had lots of questions. Hutch noticed his confusion and hurried to explain. They had found the man who hired Bellamy, and the doctors had been able to reverse the effects of the poison in time. It would take him awhile to get his strength back, but Starsky was going to be all right. Hutch's voice shook when he told him he would be all right, and he blinked quickly, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Starsky tightened his grip on Hutch's hand, his own eyes burning. "Thanks, Hutch", he whispered. Starsky knew there was no way that mere words would be able to express his gratitude to Hutch for everything he had done for him. Staying with him and supporting him through that terrible day and night, never giving up trying to find the person responsible, pushing his own pain aside to help his friend. "Thanks." Starsky said again, wishing he could say more. But Hutch just smiled and pulled him into a big hug. "Anytime, partner. Anytime." They held each other tightly, both thinking about how close they had come to losing each other, and feeling very lucky to have each other, and that they had beaten the odds once again. Together.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me.
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me.

THE END