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Soho

PART FOUR

   After bringing Hutch his breakfast the next morning, Starsky drove over to Merle's to see about Hutch's car.

   All Merle could do was shake his head as he explained to Starsky what he would have to do to get it up and running. "Starsky, I don't know why you would want to torture me and your wallet with this over-sized paper weight. Not only does it need all new tires, front and back lights, and a new windshield, it needs a starter, alternator, battery, water pump, fuel pump, valve covers, all new belts, and a complete brake job."

   "But the motor is working, right?"

   "Oh yeah, it's just fine. If there is one thing I can say about these junkers, it's that they have powerful motors.... But that's all I can say. And even that will need a complete tune up. Now, why don't you do the sensible thing and forget about this jalopy and put me and it out of our misery?"

   "You said the motor's strong. That's good enough for me. Do you think you can have this thing running in two days?"

   "TWO DAYS?! Starsky, are you out your cotton-pickin' mind? You smoking those funny cigarettes, or something?"

   "Come on, Merle. This is really important. You know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't." Starsky pleaded with his puppy dog eyes and the most pitiful look he could make.

   Merle just let out a long breath. "I will do the best I can, but even as an automotive artist, I can only do but so much."

   "Merle, I owe ya. I'll call you later to check on the progress."

   "Yeah, but don't expect any miracles out of me," Merle called after Starsky as he was leaving the garage.

   Starsky cruised the streets for the next few hours checking on a few known hot spots where trouble was a pretty common occurrence. He did more thinking than he did eyeing the neighborhood

   Starsky approached the Captain's office and knocked on the door but entered before Dobey could respond to the knock.

   Dobey looked up from his lunch and stared, not too pleasantly, at Starsky. "Starsky, hasn't anyone ever told you you need to wait for a response somewhere between knocking and barging in?"

   "Oh, sorry, Cap. I was wondering if you heard anything on the bail hearing for Balford and Humphries."

   "As a matter of fact, I did."

   Dobey grumbled through a mouthful of sandwich. Meanwhile, Starsky was already eyeing the candy bar sitting on his desk. He was sure it was dessert, but who's dessert it remained to be seen.

   "What did they have to say?"

   "Bail hearing is scheduled for tomorrow at 2 p.m.. Ben Stone will be there for the both of them."

   "That's terrific. It's about time we get our turn at them."

   "Don't go throwing any parties until after the hearing. You don't know what the judge is going to say about it."

   Just then, the phone rang. Dobey snatched the receiver off its cradle. "Dobey," he grunted into it. Dobey jumped up and began pacing the room, spitting into the phone. "Edith, what do you mean the plumber wants to put in a new toilet and tub?! I only wanted him to check the drain in the kitchen sink!"

   As soon as Dobey's back was to Starsky, he quickly slithered over to his desk, and, in one smooth motion, snatched the candy bar, turned and walked out of the office. He headed out of the department and was proceeding out to the garage towards his car when he heard a loud and thunderous bellow.

   "STARSKY, YOU GET RIGHT BACK HERE WITH THAT!!!!"

   ****************

   That evening Starsky made his way back to Hutch's room. Hutch was sitting up in the bed with the morning newspaper in his hand and the phone in his ear.

   "Yes, I'm doing much better these days. What? Oh no, the car is totaled. There's no way they can fix it, it's gone. What do you mean, that's good?" Hutch laughed. "You're gonna come and pick out a new car for me? Starsky made that offer already. He's talking about getting me a hotrod. No, I think I can manage to buy my own car... No, I wasn't blinded when I bought the last one. No, I'll be okay...really, I'll do fine. They may be letting me out of here real soon. No, I won't be going back to work right away. It looks like I'll be stuck at home with a big cast on my leg for a number of weeks. No, I don't think it'll be necessary for you to come all the way out here, I'll manage fine. Besides, I don't think Starsky is going to give me a moment's peace the whole time, anyway. Okay, I love you too, Mom. Tell Dad hello for me. Tell him to call me, I'd love to speak with him. Goodbye, Mom."

   Hutch looked up after hanging up the phone and smiled.

   "Mom says hello."

   "How's your mother doing these days?"

   "Okay, I guess." Hutch smiled "She was ready to jump on the next plane here to make sure I was being taken care of."

   "What?" Starsky asked in exaggerated surprise. "You mean you're going to deny your mommy the pleasure of taking care of her baby boy? Why, Kenneth Hutchinson, I'm shocked at you."

   "Well, don't be. The only reason why I turned down her offer is because if she comes out here, she's sure to be accompanied by Dad, who will undoubtedly spend the next few weeks trying to convince me to it's time to stop playing cops and robbers, and come to my senses. I think I'd rather contend with Bertha than put up with that."

    Hutch looked at the cartons in Starsky's hand and decided to change the subject. "What did Huggy send me this time?"

   Starsky unpacked the containers and set up another of Huggy's specially prepared healthy dinners for Hutch, and another greasy concoction for himself.

   "Speaking of our darling Bertha, did she get you again today, partner?" Starsky asked with a taunting grin on his face.

   "You know, Starsky, I'm beginning to lose my dignity with that woman coming around every morning...and I use the term 'woman' loosely, I might add."

   "Don't worry, pal. When you get outta here, we'll go and rough up a couple of suspects, then we'll spend the evening at a couple of real sleazy strip joints, and you'll get it all back again." Starsky teased.

   Hutch just laughed and dug into his dinner. Tonight it was grilled chicken breast on a kaiser roll with lettuce, tomato and mustard. It was accompanied by a pickle, coleslaw, two cans of orange Shasta to wash it down, and a healthy slice of Mississippi mud pie for dessert. Starsky, on the other hand got a 12-inch Philadelphia cheese steak hero with onions, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, a mountain of fries on the side, two cans of orange Shasta, and a healthy slice of Mississippi mud pie.

   They made casual conversation as they ate. Hutch was explaining his ever-improving prognosis and that he might be going home tomorrow. Starsky told him about the bail hearing for Humphries and Balford that had been set up for tomorrow. He assured Hutch that he would be in court during the hearing and come by to pick him up if he got discharged that same day. Meanwhile, Starsky was busy thinking of how he was going to surprise Hutch with his car if it wasn't ready in time.

   I almost wish Hutch's discharge was held up a day so the car can be ready before he gets out. Now there's a selfish thought. I know he wants nothing more then to get out of here. Oh well, I'll think of something.

   They both ate in silence until Hutch noticed Starsky staring out into space.

   "Penny for your thoughts?"

   Starsky snapped his head up. "Huh? Did you say something?"

   "Yeah, penny for your thoughts. What are you thinking about?"

   "Nothing." Starsky was looking down at his hands, avoiding eye contact with Hutch.

   "Nothing? Come on Starsk, you're in another world."

   Starsky squirmed in his chair, then adjusted himself before finally looking up at Hutch. "You. I'm thinking about you."

   "Me? What about me."

   "I want you to be honest and tell me everything is all right with you, or tell me what else is going on. I mean, you held back on me about your nightmares. Hutch, we don't keep things like that from each other. Why did you hold out on me? Are you hiding something else?"

   It was Hutch's turn to avoid eye contact with Starsky and squirm a little.

   "I...I...Starsk, I just didn't want you to worry about me anymore. When you told me what you were going through when I disappeared, I thought.... I didn't want you to worry anymore. So I kept my problems to myself. It's no big deal, Starsk, they're just dreams. I can handle them. I had them before, and I'm sure to have them again at some point in my life. You told me how much our friendship meant to you. Well, it means more to me than you can ever know, and I just don't want you to going around worrying about me all the time. And no, I'm not holding out on anything else." Hutch held up two fingers "Sea Scouts honor."

   Starsky looked at him and could not help but smile. "Yeah, well, I still can't understand how you were a sea scout in Duluth." He then got serious. "Okay, Hutch, I appreciate your concern for me, but I still would feel better if you would just tell me these things when they happen. Okay?"

   Hutch produced a small grin. "Okay, I promise."

   The door opened, and in walked Dr. Ellis accompanied by Karen and an orthopedic physician assistant, Margie.

   Dr. Ellis extended his hand towards Starsky and both men shook hands. Good evening, Dave, I'm here to examine Mr. Hutchinson's leg. Now Dave, I will have to insist this time that you sit in the waiting area while we do this."

   Starsky wasn't going to argue about staying this time. "Would you mind if I waited outside the door? I really would like to know what's going on. I promise not to look."

   "Sure, Dave. I'll let you know when we're done and what we need to do next."

   Starsky left, and the attention of the orthopedic team was now on Hutch.

   Dr. Ellis shook Hutch's hand. "Now, Ken, we're going to have a look at your leg to see how it's coming along.

   "Okay, doctor. Then what?"

   "Let's just take a look first, then we'll talk some more. And please, call me John. Okay, Ken?"

   "Okay, John, whatever you say."

   Dr. Ellis was a kind man with a happy-go-lucky demeanor, but he was good at what he did. He had an uncanny knack for getting patients to relax in such stressful situations, and Hutch was no exception.

   "Why don't we give you some pain medicine before we start."

   "No, I'll be okay, John. Really."

   "You're not just acting brave, are you Ken?"

   "No, really, I'll be okay."

   Hutch was very leery of taking any narcotics due to his past problem with heroin...a past he certainly wasn't quick to share with anybody.

   When the dressing was removed, Dr. Ellis examined the opening he had made in Hutch's leg and the amount of drainage on the dressing. After his assessment, he smiled and looked up at his patient.

   "Well, Ken, I'm very pleased with the way things are looking. The drainage is minimal, the swelling in your leg has gone down and there is no sign of infection."

   A grateful smile streamed across Hutch's face. "That's the best news I've heard in weeks, John. So, what's next?"

   "What do you say we sew the rest of this up and put you in a cast? We can have you up on crutches tomorrow morning and on your way home by the evening."

   Hutch's smile widened at the news. "I say, let's do it."

   Dr. Ellis poked his head into the hallway. Starsky was leaning against the wall reading an arthritis pamphlet he'd found on the ledge of the nursing station. As soon a he spotted Dr. Ellis, he stood up, quickly folded the pamphlet and stuffed it into his back pocket.

   "Hey, John, what's the verdict?"

   "Well, Dave, I'm very pleased with the progress your friend has made. We're going to close up the incision then cast him. I would like to send him home by tomorrow evening."

   "That's great, doc! That's the best news I heard in weeks!"

   "Well, Dave, why don't you sit in the waiting area, and we'll call you when we're done."

   On his way to the waiting area, Starsky strolled by the nurses' station and snatched a pamphlet about cholesterol and high blood pressure. He figured he was going to need reading material to pass the time...besides, it was free.

   An hour and a half later, Dr. Ellis came out to inform him the casting was completed and he could return to his partner's room. Starsky thanked him and proceeded to his friend's bedside once again. Starsky walked into the room and eyed the cast that went from Hutch's toes all the way up to his thigh.

    "Hey Hutch, I don't get it. You only fractured the lower leg, why did they extend the cast all the way up the entire leg?"

   "To prevent me from bending my knee which would cause the bones to shift out of place. Hopefully, in three weeks they should've have healed enough for them to change it to a short leg cast, one that goes below the knee. He also said if I progress well enough and if I stay off of it, they may be able to let me walk on it by then."

   "Well, Blondie, in that case I better not see you trying to walk around in that cast until the doctor says you can. Do I make myself clear, buddy boy?"

   Hutch just looked at Starsky. "Maybe I should have Mom and Dad come out here. They won't nag me as much."

   "Yeah, but will they bring you a new issue of Hustler?" Starsky teased.

   "Are you kidding? They wouldn't even bring me new issues of my movie magazine. I'd have to spend the next six weeks reading nothing but Newsweek, The Wall Street Journal, Weekly Fortune, and Business World. My father would spend what time he could trying to convert me into some stuffy business tycoon like himself, since I wouldn't be able to escape."

   "Wow, Hutch, that kinda reminds me of that movie, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers.

   **********************

   That evening was very similar to the last few evenings they had spent together in that hospital room. Starsky told him about his day's events, including snatching Dobey's candy bar, netting a hardy laugh from Hutch. They played cards, and completed the New York Times Crossword puzzle in pen.

   Dobey and Huggy eventually came by and spent a while chatting casually about various tid-bits. They talked about how the L.A Dodgers were doing that year and about how glad they were the Vietnam war was finally over. Dobey griped about his plumber wanting to replace just about every plumbing device and pipe in the house. Huggy mentioned that Jimmy Carter was going to pre-empt every good show that night for an hour so he could put on yet another one of his presidential speeches. This didn't please Starsky, since he knew Hutch was going to make him watch it with him. Each one of them took turns writing their name along with get well wishes on Hutch's plaster cast. Starsky, of course, couldn't help but scribble some obscene remark on it, getting a laugh from everyone in the room.

   It was about 7:30 p.m. when Dobey and Huggy wished the two good night and took their leave.

   Starsky and Hutch watched the presidential speech, much to Starsky's dismay. He would have much rather watched a ballgame or monster movie, but this was nearly enough to put him to sleep.

   Starsky excused himself, telling Hutch he wanted to run down to the cafeteria for coffee. He found a public phone and placed a call to Merle.

   "Merle, this is Starsky. How's the car coming along?"

   "Starsky, I put a team of my best men on that car. They've been slaving all day long, and they're still not done. I don't think the it will be ready by tomorrow."

    "Com'on, Merle, you practically have the whole day tomorrow to get that thing ready. Hutch won't be getting out until late afternoon. Can't you get your guys to finish up by then?"

   "I told you before, don't expect no miracles. I will do only what I can do. Call me tomorrow."

   "Please, Merle, just try your best for me, huh." Starsky hung up the phone. Jeez, now I know what it's like to play Beat The Clock.

   Starsky walked out of the hospital and made his way across the street to a 7-11 and bought four bottles of beer. He concealed them inside his jacket, then made his way back to the hospital and up to Hutch's room. He couldn't get out of the hall and into the room quick enough. Hutch took one look at him and knew something was up.

   "Starsky, you look like the cat who ate the canary. What gives?"

   Starsky made his way up to the bed. "Oh nothing, partner, I just thought now that you're out of the woods, you might like to indulge a little." He reached into his jacket and pulled out a beer, handing it to a pleasantly surprised Hutch. He'd been wanting one badly for over a week.

   "Thanks, buddy! Just don't let anybody see you with these." Hutch stated as he tried to remove the cap before realizing it was a pop top bottle and not a twist off. He frowned at the bottle. Starsky reached into his pocket, pulled out his Swiss army knife, flipped up the bottle opener and opened both bottles.

   Hutch drank half of his in one gulp. It tasted so good to him. It had been a while since he had a beer. Starsky nursed his.

   They talked and watched the baseball game. In the meantime, Hutch finished his beer along with the other two, and much to Starsky's amusement, developed a nice buzz.

   Hutch put his hands to his head and slurred, "Wow! I didn't ththink thossse ththrree could do thisss to me."

   Starsky laughed at him. "Good thing they didn't want you trying out your crutches tonight, you'da been back in here with another cast on."

   Just then, the door swung open and Bertha stealthily walked in and up to Hutch's bed. Luckily Starsky had hidden all the empty beer bottles in the bathroom earlier for just this reason.

   "Mr. Hutchinson, I'm here to check your vitals." This was a usual routine that took place every four hours of the day and night. She checked his blood pressure, pulse and temperature as Hutch tried to conceal the fact he was on his way to being totally drunk. She smelled the alcohol emanating from her patient and gave him a stern look. "Mr. Hutchinson, were you drinking?"

   Hutch smiled then took hold of Bertha's hand between his own two. He seductively peered into her eyes with a romantic bloodshot gaze. He pulled her reluctant body closer to his and spoke in the sexiest voice he could find under the circumstances.

   "All I've been drinking is the vision of your loveliness, my darling. Why don't you uh...stick around and we can get to know each other better?"

   Bertha jerked her hand away from his, straightened her body and placed both hands on her hips. "Mr. Hutchinson," she stated firmly, "I don't know where you think you are or what you think you're trying to prove, but for your information, this is a hospital. We conduct ourselves like professionals, and we expect our patients to maintain a certain sense of decorum. Now, you say good night to your friend and tell him to leave. I'll be back in the morning for your bath."

   As she turned to walk away, Hutch's face broke out into a broad smile and he stated loudly, "Okay, whatever you say, baby." Then before Starsky could stop him, Hutch brought back his arm and gave a Bertha a very healthy smack on her rear end.

   In one smooth, reflexive motion, Bertha swung back around and returned the smack to Hutch's left cheek. "One more move like that, and I'll have you restrained!" With that said, she turned and marched out of the room.

    Hutch sat with a dumbfounded look on his face and rubbed his now reddened cheek..

   Starsky was nearly on the floor laughing out of control at the scene that had just taken place. It took several moments for him to regain his composure and speak again. "Looks like Romeo strikes out again."

    "Wow! That woman needs to lighten up a bit. Don't you think so, Starsk?"

   Starsky wiped the tears from his eyes. "I just think you need to get some sleep, pal."

   It was apparent the booze was causing Hutch to lose his battle with consciousness. Nevertheless, he objected. "Oh no, no I'm all right re...uh...reeeally. Put the TV back on. I wanna watch the news, Starsk."

   "Hutch, you're gonna pass out in about two minutes, I can tell."

   "No, I won't. Come on, Starsk, I wanna see the news."

   Starsky just shrugged and gave in. Hutch wasn't going anywhere anyway, so there was no point in arguing. He turned on the news, took a seat, propped his feet up on the bed and stared at the TV. As he predicted, Hutch was asleep within minutes. He decided to stick around for a while just to make sure he would be all right.

   The news ended, and Starsky watched an old Star Trek rerun that followed. He jumped up when Hutch began to thrash around in the bed. Hutch was also moaning this time. Starsky noticed he wasn't screaming out like last night, but he was still sure Hutch was having another nightmare. He sat on the edge of the bed then grabbed Hutch's shoulder and began shaking him.

   "Hutch! Wake up! You're having another nightmare. Come on, buddy wake up, open your eyes!"

   Hutch continued thrashing and moaning. He tried to knock Starsky's hands from their grip around his shoulder. Starsky was positive the beers were making it harder to arouse him from his sleep. He regretted ever bringing them in the first place.

   "Hutch! It's me. It's Starsky, wake up!"

   Hutch's eyes opened, but he continued thrashing and moaning and trying to sit up as he continued to push his friend away from him. Starsky was trying to get Hutch to relax and quit trying to fight him off when Hutch finally lurched forward and threw up onto Starsky's shirt. Hutch then fell back into his pillow relieved. He was breathing heavily, and sweat beaded on his forehead. Starsky froze in shock.

   After taking a moment to absorb what had just happened, he slowly stood up, unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. He rolled it into a ball and threw it into the trash can in the bathroom.

   He returned and sat down on the edge of the bed, then pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket, using it to wipe Hutch's mouth and chin..

   "I'm sorry, Starsk. I kept trying to push you away."

   "It's okay. I thought you were having another nightmare. I was trying to wake you up."

   "A nightmare? Oh no, I was having the spins from those beers, they made me nauseous. I was trying to push you away so I could grab the basin off the night table. I didn't think just three would do this to me. I guess it mixed with all that medication they keep pumping into me."

   "Oh...I guess I had it coming then, huh?" Starsky could see Hutch's eyelids growing heavy. "Why don't you try to go back to sleep. I'll be back tomorrow with your breakfast and then in the evening to pick you up. Okay?"

   Hutch spoke barely above a whisper. "Okay, Starsky. G'night buddy."

   "Night, pal." Starsky straightened the blankets over his friend then put his jacket over his bare chest, zipped it up and slowly made his way out of the room.

   **********************

   Starsky sat along with Dobey and district attorney, Ben Stone, waiting for the bail hearing against Balford and Humphries to begin. It was originally scheduled for 2:00 p.m., but it was now 2:30 p.m., and there was one more case to be heard before theirs.

   Starsky excused himself, telling Dobey he would be in the main lobby making a phone call and to get him when the case was called. He made his way to the public phone booth and dialed Merle's number. "Merle, what's the word on the car?"

   "Starsky!" Merle started with frustration in his voice. "There is just no way that car's gonna be ready by today! We've been working on it all day and it ain't near ready. It's gonna take at least another day, maybe two."

   "TWO DAYS!" Starsky said louder than he intended. Slightly embarrassed, he quickly scanned the lobby to see how many folks may have heard.

   "Starsky, some folks expect me to pull a rabbit out of my hat. You want me to part the Red Sea!"

   "Can't you at least try?" Starsky pleaded.

   "You don't know what you're asking. I have parts on order that won't even get here until after four o'clock and then it'll take at least an hour to install each of them. And my guys quit at six o'clock, sharp."

   "Damn!" Starsky exclaimed. "All right, all right. Hey, listen Merle, thanks for trying, okay? I know you tried to do this for me, and I appreciate it."

   "Well, I'm sorry, Starsky, but it just couldn't be done."

   "Thanks anyway, Merle, and just call me when it's finished, okay?"

   "Will do."

   Starsky hung up the phone and just stood there, feeling disappointed. After a few moments, he dug into his pocket, pulled out a dime, deposited it into the phone and called Hutch's room number.

   "Hello?"

   "Hey, Hutch, it's me. Just calling to see how things went. Did you get your crutches?"

   "Not yet. The orthopedic team will be tied up in the clinic for most of the afternoon, so physical therapy is going to come by to measure and show me how to use them. I should be released about 5 o'clock this evening."

   "Okay, hopefully the case should be starting soon, and I'll be there to pick you up." Starsky smiled. " By the way, how's your head this morning, Don Juan?"

   "It's not my head that I was worried about. It was waiting for Bertha that scared me the most. She was even less gentle this morning, and boy, did she have some attitude."

   Starsky laughed. "Well, next time I'm bringing you nothing stronger than carrot juice. You're trouble when you've had a few."

   Starsky looked down the hall where Captain Dobey was poking his head out of the courtroom door motioning to him. Their case was being called.

   "Oh Hutch, they're gonna begin the hearing. I'll come by to get you when we're done."

   Starsky hung the phone up and swiftly made his way to the courtroom.

   **********************

   During the pre-trial hearing, the judge heard Starsky's, Humphries', and Balford's account of the events that took place, from before the disappearance of Hutch, up until the time Starsky found him in the canyon.

   Each one's account was totally different than the others'.

   Going over the evidence, the judge believed Starsky's account held more validity than the other two whose stories did nothing more than point the finger at each other. However, he decided instead of holding them without bail, he would release Humphries on $150,000 bond, and Balford would be released on a $200,000 bond. His license to practice law would also be suspended pending the outcome of the trial. Balford tried to argue the judge's decision and was slapped with an additional $3,000 contempt of court fine. Both men were led away to jail in handcuffs.

   **********************

   The pre-trial went a lot quicker than Starsky thought it would. This left him with enough time to rush home and change out of his suit and tie and into his jeans. How he hated ties.

   ***********************

   His current problem was that the car he'd bought for Hutch was not ready to be presented to him. He actually had planned to pick him up at the hospital in it, thinking it would really brighten his day. Well those plans are shot to hell, he thought. He was driving towards the hospital when the idea hit him.

   He turned the car around and headed towards Merle's Body and Fender.

   **********************

   Starsky walked up to Merle who was busy under the hood of Hutch's car-to-be and tapped him on the shoulder.

   Merle, startled, jumped up and spun around to see Starsky standing next to him. "Starsky, I TOLD YOU, the car ain't near ready, and it ain't gonna be ready for another two days! You coming in here ain't gonna make things move along any faster."

   "I know that, Merle, but I need you to do me one other favor."

   "Oh no, Starsky, please don't tell me you have another car for me. Please, don't tell me that." Merle pleaded.

   "No, that's not it. I need you to have this car brought to the hospital for me."

   "WHAT?! I THOUGHT you were out your mind before when you asked me to fix this hunk of junk up, now I KNOW you're totally out of it, man!"

   "Merle, listen to me, I know this car doesn't run yet, but I really want to surprise Hutch with it. Can't you just have it towed there, just for Hutch to see it then you can have it towed right back here? Please, Merle. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't that important. Come on, what do ya say, huh?"

   Merle just looked at him long and hard with a look of disbelief before he finally uttered a word. "Well it's your money, my man. You spend it any way you like. You want it towed to the hospital, I'll tow it to the hospital. I'll tow it all the way to Vermont, if you want. Gimmee the dough, and away we go."

   "Hey, thanks a bunch, Merle. Hutch goes home at 5:00 this evening. Can you have it there before then?"

   "Like I said, it's your money."

   "That's great. I gotta go. I'll settle up with you later." With that, Starsky turned and was headed out the garage door when he heard Merle yelling to him from behind.

   "I don't know why you want to tow this thing to the hospital. Ain't no use. You ought to have this thing towed to the graveyard, if you get my meaning!"

   Starsky couldn't help but laugh at that comment.

   At four thirty that evening, Starsky pulled into the hospital parking lot to see the old LTD sitting right near the entrance doors.

   Starsky walked up to the car and began circling around it, smiling at the close similarity it had to the previous Hutchmobile. When he made his way towards the back, he leaned over and using his finger, wrote in the dirt of the rear window, 'condemned, 1847.' He laughed to himself and began making his way towards the hospital. He took a few steps then stopped, did an about-face and made his way back towards the car. He opened the driver's side door, crouched down, reached under the dashboard and began fiddling with a few of the wires. After about five minutes, he got up, closed the door and made his way to Hutch's room.

   When he opened the door to his partner's room, he found Hutch in almost a wrestling match with Bertha. He was sitting up in his bed with no gown. His blankets were the only garments he was wearing at the moment, and he wasn't about to give them up.

   "Bertha!" Hutch moaned as he was trying to grab his shirt from her tight grip and push her away at the same time, "I can do this myself. I only have a broken leg, I'm not paralyzed, ya know."

   Bertha was holding on to the garment and successfully managing to hold off her struggling patient by literally keeping him at arm's length. Her hand was on his shoulder, pushing him away from her, and since her arms were a few inches longer than his, he couldn't reach her or the shirt.

   "Mr. Hutchinson, I was sent in here to make sure you were ready for your discharge, and that's what I'm going to do. Now, quit fighting me so I can get you dressed."

   Hutch turned to see his amused partner standing at the door smirking.

   "Starsky, " he said with a mixture of exasperation and desperation, "get her away from me before I arrest her for assault."

   Starsky finally walked up to Bertha and took the shirt out of her hand. "Bertha, I think my partner's dignity has been compromised enough. Let the guy keep what little he has left. Okay?" he said only half serious.

   She sneered up at Starsky. She did not like it when anyone interfered with her work, especially outsiders. "Fine, but I'll be back in 15 minutes to make sure he's ready to go."

   With that said, she turned and walked out of the room. Starsky tossed the shirt along with the rest of Hutch's clothing onto his bed.

   Hutch grabbed it and began dressing. "Thanks, partner. I swear that woman has it in for me. I really believe she thoroughly enjoyed torturing me. I'll be happy to put plenty of distance between her and I."

   "I don't know, partner, I thought you were actually enjoying it."

   Hutch glared at him. "In her dreams, partner. I just think it's about time I finally won a battle with that woman."

   Starsky laughed. "Hey, listen, I have to go talk with your doctor to get all the info you're gonna need. I'll be back in a few."

   "I'll be here."

   Hutch finished pulling on his black turtleneck shirt, then reached for his boxers. It was then he made the grim discovery he couldn't bend his casted leg in order to dress himself. He made several attempts at getting the boxers over his foot but they were all without success. He laid his head back against his pillow and sighed. "Damn," he thought out loud. "I don't believe this." He lay there for a few moments, cussing under his breath before hesitantly lifting the nurse call pad and pushing the button. A few seconds later the door opened and Bertha slowly walked in and made her way towards the bed.

   She stood there with hands on her hips and a smirk on her face. "Having a bit of trouble, Mr. Hutchinson?"

   "Uhhhh, yes ma'am. It seems I can't get my, uh, ummm, my uh, boxers on. I can't bend my knee."

   "That's why I was in here in the first place. Now, are you going to let me finish what I originally came to do earlier, or are we going to tangle some more?"

   "Uh, no ma'am, I mean yes ma'am. I mean, uhh, what I mean is, I'll cooperate." Hutch said in a defeated voice.

   Bertha grabbed the boxers out of Hutch's hand and pulled away the blankets and with a stern down-to-business demeanor, slipped the shorts onto her patient. When she had them half way up his legs, he grabbed the waistband, and wasting no time, pulled them up around his hips.

   Next, she took his jeans and looked at them.

   "These won't fit over that cast. I'll have to take out the seam of this one leg."

   Before Hutch could object, Bertha, grabbed the bottom of the left pant leg with her bare hands and pulled at the seam until it tore apart. She split them almost all the way up to the hip then slipped them onto Hutch's leg. He grabbed them by the belt loops and quickly pulled them up around his hips, buttoned and zipped the fly.

   "Ill be back with your wheelchair, Mr. Hutchinson. When you're in it, I'll help you with your sock and shoe."

   As she was leaving the room, Starsky opened the door and walked right smack into her. He bounced off her and stumbled back a few feet.

    Bertha did not move at all. "You need to watch where you're going, mister. You're gonna get yourself hurt one of these days."

   Starsky regained his composure and stared at her. He walked around her towards his partner and mumbled, "And you're gonna really hurt someone one of these days, lady."

   He walked up to Hutch's bed with a confused look on his face. "Hey, I thought we got rid of her. What was she doing back in here?"

   Hutch just looked up at him a bit embarrassed. "I uh, had a little trouble getting dressed after all. I can't bend my knee with this cast on. I actually had to call her back to help me out."

   Starsky smirked. "Well, Hutch, at least she was able to get one more good look at ya before you leave this joint."

   "Oh, why don't you fly a kite?"

   "How about I just give you your shoes?" Starsky said as he handed Hutch his right shoe along with a sock.

   By the time Bertha returned with his wheelchair, Hutch was more than ready to get in it and get out of that hospital. After she placed it next to his bed, Hutch eagerly got out of the bed using his crutches and plopped down into the chair.

   "Do you have everything, Mr. Hutchinson? Make sure you didn't leave anything behind."

   "I have everything, thank you."

   "Did you sign your discharge papers and receive all of your discharge instructions?"

   Starsky waved the papers in his hand. "I have them all right here. I signed all the papers for him. We're ready to blow this joint."

   Bertha wheeled the chair to the exit near the parking lot. "Here you go, Mr. Hutchinson."

   Starsky spoke up. "Why don't you just let me wheel him to the car. He may still be a little unsteady on those crutches. You wouldn't want him falling in the parking lot and hurting himself all over again, would you?"

   "Suit yourself." Bertha turned and walked back towards the patient care area, then Starsky got behind the wheelchair and pushed his partner out to the parking lot.

   Hutch looked up at Starsky. "So, how did the trial go?"

   "Well, all Balford and Humphries did was try to place the blame on each other and take it off of themselves. The judge didn't seem to buy any of it. He set Humphries' bail at a hundred and fifty thousand dollars."

   Hutch whistled. "What about his lawyer, the smiling barracuda?"

   "Balford? He ain't smiling no more. Not after the bail the judge set on him."

   Hutch laughed in delight at the news. "It's too bad, he's one of my favorite people," he said sarcastically.

   Starsky continued pushing Hutch towards the Torino, but when he approached it, to Hutch's surprise, he went right by it.

   Hutch spoke up, flipping his thumb back towards the Torino, "Hey, uh, where are we going?"

   "I'm taking you for a little stroll."

   "What? What for?"

   "Surprise, surprise."

   Hutch spoke up. "What for?!"

   "I want you to take a peek at your new wheels."

   "Oh, Starsky, you know I love you, but ou-ou our taste in wheels don't exactly match."

   "I know. Mine's better."

   Starsky finally stopped the wheelchair in front of 'the car'. Hutch froze at the sight. His reincarnated LTD stood right before his very eyes.

   Starsky put on his best W.C. Fields/salesman pitch. "Yes, sir, you're going to love this little buggy, a genuine Hutchinson original. Or, should I say, a replica of the same. Complete with the same dents and dings and putrefied upholstery, not to mention an added extra which I'm gonna throw in 'cause I like your face...."

   Hutch, using his crutches, swiftly hoisted himself out of his chair without taking his eyes off the car.

   Starsky opened the driver's side car door and the horn started blaring away.

   Hutch hobbled up to his car with an annoyed look on his face, then using one of his crutches, he pushed the door shut, disabling the loud horn.

   Starsky was staring at the car, and sounded almost surprised and a bit disappointed, "What'sa matter? Don't you like it?"

   Hutch looked grimly at the car as he adjusted his balance. Finally, after a few moments, he spoke with sentiment. "Starsky." He paused and licked his lips. "It's beautiful!" He looked at his partner, smiling and nodding his head. "It's just beautiful."

   Starsky expressed a look of disappointment. After all, even with all the work Merle put into it, in his eyes, it still looked like crap. "That's what I thought you were gonna say."

   Hutch straightened up and held his crutches out to his side and smiled broadly. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

   He hobbled up to his partner, threw his crutches down, grabbed him in a bear hug and planted a big kiss on his cheek. "Thanks, buddy. This is just about the best thing anyone has ever done for me. You're the best, you're truly the best."

THE END